Dear Noodles-
 
Yesterday you wrote
>I just got chased down by two crazy FLO members doing doughnuts in da
>yard, and dey were drivin a green Jon Deere Backhoe!!
 
AHA!  and thank you.  I was wondering where those little MONSTERS were
hiding out.  So they are in Alabama, crusin' Miss Wahoski's neighborhood
again.  Well, let me tell you Alabama ain't far ENOUGH away from
Massachusetts, not given their recent misbehavior.
 
You just tell those two for me that the ATF is looking for them.  Wants
to have a little chat with the ladies, regarding that device they have
been building beneath my sofa.
 
I went through their favourite stash spot under there, and what did I
find?
 
- That spark plug wire I keep taking away from them.
- Four feet of blue coated number twelve-gauge wire.
- An AA battery.
- A mercury thermometer.
- About a dozen of my husband's work-shoe insoles.
- Assorted shiny little bits of metal.
- Electrical connectors, snitched from my husbands work uniform pockets.
 
I think that they were building a bomb.  I am not inventing this list.
 
All that wire, a battery, and the raw material for a mercury switch?
Electrical connectors?  The ATF guy thinks that they were going to wrap
the insoles around the bomb, so that when it went off, it would blow
holes in the victims that looked like shoe-prints.  The victims would
have the appearance of having been STOMPED to death by some ferocious
maniac with a foot-odor issue.
 
(Sigh...) Ferrets.  You try to raise them right.  It doesn't always turn
out like you hoped.
 
Alexandra in Massachusetts
[Posted in FML issue 4107]