Some of you may not want to read this - it's fairly sad and is just about
a ferret that passed on last year.  I appreciate being able to share my
feelings with the list, though - thank you.  Today is my law school
graduation, and there isn't really anyone for me to talk to - everyone else
will be celebrating.
 
You may know (but probably not - I wasn't on the list yet) that last year,
on May 19, I lost my little Bailey due to liver failure following an
unsuccessful adrenal surgery.  Her liver just couldn't break down the
anesthesia and she never really "came out of it" following the 2 hour
operation on the 15th.  In addition, her abdominal cavity and all her
lymph nodes were covered with fat.  We still don't know why.
 
Nothing I did could help her, and I really think that I killed her trying
to help her -- if I had done nothing, she would probably still be here (she
was only 3 1/2).  I was foolish enough to think that if I just spent enough
money, got the best vet, that I could save her.  But instead, the treatment
itself ended her life prematurely.  If I have learned one thing from caring
for her, it's that we can't fix everything.  No amount of money can stave
off the inevitable, and sometimes it just makes things worse.  I suppose
the trick is knowing the difference -- like the old saying.
 
Every day, I remember her and miss her.  She was the sweetest ferret I've
ever known.  I used to board her at the KC shelter when I had to go out
of town, and they would put her with new inmates who were maladjusted or
sad -- she loved all of them, and they usually came to like her back.  And
people, too - the volunteers hated to see her go home!
 
And in the last 6 months, when I guess she wasn't feeling well, she would
lie on the sofa next to me, making a nest out of a green chenille throw,
and curl up there all evening long.  She had the most beautiful little
paws - such a lovely dark pink with sparkling white fur...it was six
months before I could talk about her without crying.  Her memory is always
with me.
 
I will try to be worthy of such a special creature's love and devotion, and
I hope that wherever she is, that she is content and that I'll see her
again.
 
Thanks to all for listening
Melissa
[Posted in FML issue 3056]