Michael was around 8 years old, and very frail when he joined Sean's
class late in the year and we met him.  He had been bounced all over the
place, school to school, with very poor attendance.  He is an attractive
child with icy blue eyes, long black lashes, pale milky skin, black hair
that was never combed and always needed to be cut.  He was very thin.
Michael's dx is unknown to me.  Nothing seems obvious other than the
emotional factor, and some delays.  Physically he is just fine.  His
language skills were near on target, though you wouldn't know it.
Michael never uttered a word.
 
When I first brought the ferrets into the classroom while he was there, he
was very disinterested.  He only looked up from whatever he was drawling
or writing with fleeting glances.  He stayed at his desk the first time.
The other children joined around me in a half circle.  The second visit
he looked on more, and had a little curiosity.  The third visit he stood
up in the back of the class and watched.  I would always greet him with
an unassuming smile and a hello.  I took his distance to be possibly
somewhat of a sensory issue, but I was wrong.  Later as I went to touch
his shoulder, etc there was no recoiling or cringing.  He didn't seem to
withdrawal from noise either.  It was just that he had some sort of wall
up, an emotional one.  So I kept up the greetings, and touching, as long
as he didn't give me a sign that it was too much.  I made sure to tell
him that it was fine to stand from a far.  I would encourage him to at
least "look" at the ferrets for a minute from where he was each time.
 
After that the teacher told him to join the class, and eventually he did
one day.  He stayed at the end of the half circle and sat silently.  All
he wanted to do was watch the ferrets.  And that was ok.  I gradually
began to understand this child did not want to get attached to anyone
or anything because of his past.  And who could blame him?  It was his
defense, and it helped him survive.  As the year progressed, Michael did
not with the ferrets.  He occasionally spoke in a whisper.  He never spoke
to me other than one-word answers.  Finally I thought, instead of asking
him to come to me, that I'd take the ferrets to him.  After our regular
session, Michael was at his desk drawling alone, as usual.  I walked over
with a ferret and squatted by his chair.  I had the ferret look at what
he was drawling.  I then asked him what he was drawling.  Well he looked
up at me, then the ferret, and with his usual empty expression, the
floodgates opened.  My word, he talked and talked and talked.  He kept
staring at the paper, and kept drawling through most of his speaking.  But
when he took breaks, he kept looking up at the ferret.  I finally saw what
I thought was a smile.  I hated to go, but the buses came.
 
So from then on I knew how visit Michael with the ferrets.  He wanted
their company while he did what he really cared about, drawling and
writing.  He wanted the ferrets to "see" too.  I think he wanted them to
care.  I made sure he knew I cared.  By the end of the year he would smile
a little each time, and he would pet them.  He joined the class each time
for the group visits, and occasionally answer my questions when I told
social stories.  I was seeing that Michael was pretty bright.  When it
was time for individual ferret time, I did it Michael's way and it was
always a joy.
 
The next year, Sean told me of a boy in his new school, a boy that was
joining in late in the year.... that would curse horribly.  A boy that
that would refuse to come to class, and they would have to physically
carry to the classroom.  A boy that may have even been restrained (human
restraint) at one time he was so out of control.  A boy named Michael.
I immediately told the school what Michael was like last year.  The
principal was speechless, and the teacher couldn't stop asking questions.
The school psychologist just kept flashing confused glances at the speech
therapist.  He eventually got better with the carrying on, but never
stopped the violent verbal outbursts.  I started to go to this school with
the ferrets after new years, but there was no Michael.  When I asked for
him, the teacher sadly said they he stopped coming to school.  She gave
me no more information other than that -- that once again, Michael was
"out there".
 
I will always wonder if getting close to those ferrets was something
positive for Michael to always carry in his heart, or yet another
heartbreak.
 
Wolfy
 
Please visit:
http://www.geocities.com/wolfysluv/
for information on ferret deafness:
http://www.geocities.com/wolfysluv/deaf.html
[Posted in FML issue 3699]