Okay, everyone... it's time to fax Dr. Laura!
 
Quick summary for those who might not know.  Dr. Laura (radio talk show
shrink...really annoying but I listen to her anyway <g>) used to call people
gerbils when she was referring to them in a derogatory tone (e.g., "your
husband thinks that you should work rather than stay home and take care of
your children?  He's a gerbil..." That kind of thing.  Anyway, gerbil people
wrote to her and convinced her that gerbils are monogamous, mate for life,
they both (male and female) care for the young, etc.  So, basically a gerbil
is the kind of personality that Dr. Laura thinks that people should be.  Now
she's looking for another animal to replace the gerbil as her derogatory
animal.  (this is all kind of in fun, by the way).  So, someone faxed her
and said to consider a ferret, because she once had a ferret in college, she
showered it with love, then found out that it stank, only showed love when
it wanted something, stole things all around the house and hid them, and
took fancy in darting out from behind the sofa and biting her in the
backside.  While this may sound like all of our ferrets <g>, she presented
it very negatively.  We need to fax Dr. Laura, all at once, bombarding her
so that she'll address this situation again, and change the negative image
of the ferret that has already been presented to the huge following of
people that she's got.
 
Goals: keep her from using ferret as her "derogatory animal", change the
negative impression that the fax sent left regarding ferrets, and get
publicity for ferrets.  PLEASE, do this... yeah, it's not a major issue like
ferrets being killed, but every little bit of publicity is going to help.  A
bad image was put out.  We should change it...that's what we're here to do.
 
Now, very briefly I need to tell you the kind of person Dr. Laura is, if you
don't listen to her.  She's EXTREMELY moral, that's what she preaches.  Moms
should NEVER work, they should be stay at home, no matter what (even single
moms).  She always constantly preaches about the stupid things women do to
mess up their lives (hooking up with the wrong men, blah blah blah).  She is
extremely against living together before marriage, premarital sex NO WAY,
girls that get "knocked up" should give babies up for adoption, and
everything in life centers around children.  Everything she preaches is
great (but she comes across pretty bitchy).  Her "slogan" is "I am my kid's
mom" and people who call in often say "I am my kids mom" or "I am my kids
dad."
 
Anyway...none of that has anything to do with ferrets, but she opened the
door for us to use her influence to educate about ferrets.
 
So, what do you write?  Remember, you're supposedly writing in response to
her need to find an animal that represents the sleazy people she talks
about.  You're also supposedly writing in response to the woman who called
that used to own a ferret.  You want to explain why ferrets are not a good
animal to use in describing slimy, immoral, unfaithful, drunken,
bad-parenting people.  (uh....we need to be clever! <g>) You also want to
put in some good plugs about how ferrets are so misunderstood and that she'd
only be adding to that, discrediting all of the hard work that we're doing
to present ferrets TRUTHFULLY.  Dr. Laura is VERY big on not gossiping, and
you should mention that if she were to use the ferret derogatively, it would
be the same as spreading untruths, i.e., gossiping.  THAT will get to her.
 
Things to write:
 
-- Do NOT write that you heard of this on the FML, she'll want to think that
we are all Dr. Laura listeners.  Don't mention that you're part of a fax Dr.
Laura day, or that this is a group effort.  It'll diminish our credibility.
 
--You MUST include in your fax the following: "I am my ferrets' mom (or
dad)!"  That will show that you're familiar with her program (and it sounds
so cute)
 
--Say that you're writing in reference to a fax she read on the air last
week about the woman who was suggesting that ferrets should replace the
gerbil as her animal to describe (phrase how you like) immoral/bad/slimy/bad
role model-type people.
 
--Tell her in your words why ferrets are not really how the woman who faxed
made them seem (see above)
 
--Tell them in your words why ferrets should not be used for this purpose
(throw in cute stories, like how your ferret brings you joy, how they are
better than your husband/wife/s.o. as far as being reliable, UNSELFISH,
trusting, etc... you get the idea
 
-- Maybe say how ferrets are so nurturing to their young (uh... Sammy, feel
free to embellish :-) ) or how your ferrets seem to take care of their
cagemate when it's sick...
 
-- A GREAT thing to say is how ferrets MUST have a strong bond, either with
their human or to another ferret, to survive and thrive.  Tell her that when
their cagemate passes away, they often get ill, depressed, etc., as a
result.  This goes with the mate for life theme, but it's bond for life.
 
-- Shelter directors... tell her how you can't separate pairs that come
into your shelter because the bond that they have is so strong that they
will suffer if they're separated.
 
-- Then, you MUST somehow mention that you know that she's strong on not
gossiping, rumors, and spreading untruths.  Tell her that this is what we
(ferret community) do, we are trying to educate the public and change the
misconceptions out there about ferrets.  Play on the fact that she needs to
make sure that the fax she read goes against what we're trying to do, and
that you KNOW she doesn't want to be guilty of helping to spread the rumors
about these great pets that we're trying to dispel.  Ferrets get a bad rap,
and we're fighting an uphill battle because of all of the rumors and lies
that are out there.
 
-- Also add anything that you feel will help along these lines.
 
-- Sign your name and where you're from
 
Fax it TODAY (Monday!!!!!), preferably before 3 pm EST.  She's in
California, I think her show is on from like 10-1 pm out there...I don't
know.  I want her to get these while she's on the air.  If you truly can't
fax her Monday, do it as soon as you can, but let's get the bulk of them
there tomorrow.  PLEASE take a few minutes to do this!!!  Her fax number is:
(818) 461-5140.
 
Finally.  DO IT IN A KIND WAY.  We don't want her to think we are rude,
arrogant, mean, etc.  Be pleasant, diplomatic, friendly.  But insistant!!!
I'd love copies of faxes...e-mail them to me!!!!!!!
 
CAN ANYONE TAPE THE RADIO SHOW FOR ME???  Check out her website
(http://www.drlaura.com) for local radio stations near you.  You then have
to call the station to see what time it's on.  I can't listen to it at work
and really want to make sure I hear it if she makes mention.  Currently I
only hear it for a half hour a day, on my way to work.
 
Go Fax!!
 
Kymberlie Becker Barone
Director, Pennsylvania Ferret Rescue Association
"Forget Puppy Love...There's nothing Greater than Ferret Love!" TM
http://home.sprynet.com/sprynet/ferretlady
[Posted in FML issue 2248]