Dear Ferret Folks-

I do not know Sandi, but I well understand the pain of losing a ferret
before its time. I am certain that I would have enjoyed skritching
Foxy's blunt little ears, and I am equally certain that Sandi is
just...shattered that she won't ever be able to do that again.
Especially if, as she describes, Foxy need not have died at all. At
least not on that day. Sandi, my heart goes out to you. I would feel
mad, sad, and ten kinds of disbelieving if I had been through what you
have just been through. I am so sorry. It must be even *worse* because
there is this apparent controversy on the FML. I say apparent because
I don't think that we really have two mobs taking sides, but I am sure
that with the kind of pain Sandi is feeling right now it seems that
way. What we really have is a lot of people who admit that they don't
know all the facts, and don't want to rush to judgment.

I don't know Dr. Cathy, either. For all I know she does have a
substance abuse problem as Sandi has alleged. That sort of thing
doesn't seem far-fetched to me as I am an alcoholic in recovery. I went
to Alcoholics Anonymous and they saved my life. I'm pretty comfortable
in my own skin, anonymity isn't an issue for me. (Hey, if I were still
drinking it wouldn't be a secret, it would be more like a spectacle!
Think Carnival in Rio meets the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.
Unforgettable.)

I've tried to put myself in Dr. Cathy's shoes. One of two things is
going on. Either she has been terribly slandered by someone who is in
awful pain, or she has been "outed" far and wide. If "everybody" in
ferretdom didn't know about her alleged problem before, they sure do
now. Maybe the problem is real. Maybe she needs help. Regardless of
what happened to Foxy, if Dr. Cathy has a substance abuse problem she
deserves help. She hasn't done anything so bad that she is isn't worth
helping, even if she feels lower than whale *hit right now. Even if
others don't think that she is worth the time and effort. Yes, she is.
She is. A tangled and knotted gold chain is still valuable.

I don't have the magic words that can make an addict or an alcoholic
suddenly want to turn themselves around. Those words don't exist.
Either someone decides to do the heavy lifting, or they don't. It's
that simple, and that complex. If you are a friend of Dr. Cathy and
the problem is real, please tell her for me that she is worth helping,
no matter how dark things seem right now. If she'd like to talk with
someone else who had to talk herself down from off of the chemical
ledge, my e-mail is right up top. I'm not sure what I could say to her
that I haven't already, here. But I'll say this, again. Dr. Cathy, If
you need help it *is* available and you *are* worth the time and
effort.

Alexandra in MA

[Posted in FML 7156]