THE FOLLOWING IS A WORK OF FICTION AND FOLKLORE AND NOT LITERALLY TRUE
 
*********SMUDGEYHEADS************
 
This is the time of year when innocent ferrets get blamed for all kinds
of mischief which they did not do.  The naughty little imps called
"kallikantzari" slide down people's chimneys (in Seattle, it's through the
woodstoves) or slip through cracks in the walls, and do all kinds of bad
things.
 
Are your keys missing?  Were your papers re-arranged in a messy heap?  Is
there a new hole in the side of the couch?  Don't blame your poor little
ferrets--the kallikantzari are the guilty ones!
 
So you have been finding new piles of poop in the corners and you are
getting angry at your small furry companions?  Remember that those nasty
kallikantzari love to poop and pee in corners... just ask any Hellenic
grandpa and he'll be sure to agree!
 
Your milk is sour?  Now you KNOW the ferrets are not responsible!
 
How do you know the kallikantzari have visited you?  Simply look at your
ferrets' little heads.  This time of year, those evil imps love to wipe
their sooty little fingers where you don't want any sooty little
fingerprints... and they LOVE to wipe their dirty dusty hands right on the
very top of a ferret's sweet head.
 
If you don't believe me, go and look at your ferrets' heads right now,
right on the very top.  Can you see a smudge mark there?  Perhaps it will
look like a diamond or a triangle; perhaps it will resemble the letter M,
or N, or V.  I have seen marks that were shaped like arrows, and I have
seen straight lines that make your ferret look as if his hair is parted in
the middle... and last year my Emmett had a design like a fiddle, for all
the world as if he were imitating a brown recluse spider!  (yes, I have
photographs to prove it)
 
Every ferret I've seen recently had a sooty splotch of some sort on top of
his or her head, including both of my sweet bouncy boys.
 
What can you do?  Two things: don't blame your ferrets for the dark and
dastardly deeds of those kallikantari; and remember that we do have an
ally.
 
Who would that be?  you ask.  You already know--it's our friend, kindly old
Jack Frost.  This time of year, he comes along and uses his magic to frost
the ferrets!
 
So go ahead and kiss your little guys right on top of that smudge!  Thanks
to Jack Frost, it won't rub off, and it will get smaller as the winter gets
closer... and remember to love your ferrets dearly, always!
 
Kate, presently owned by two smudgeheads, Madison and Mongomwery
[Posted in FML issue 2516]