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From:
Rebecca McFarlane <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Wed, 25 Aug 1999 07:33:47 -0500
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To all who have lost their beloved babies my heart goes out to you.
Sometimes when I'm sitting here reading about your fuzzies I'm crying my
head off.  Sure glad there's no one around to see me.
 
Survived another Saturday of washing the Crew of Merry Mayhem, ferret
division, but without help couldn't get them sprayed till yesterday.
Scully has developed the odd habit of when she's bathed or sprayed, she
poops!  I'm not sure if she's afraid, or it's just her way of saying s--t
on this!  They were all running around last night, tails fluffed out,
chasing each other, the cats, me, whatever laid in their pathways.
 
Yesterday had to go home from work with one of my serious migraines, so
wound up flat on my back in bed.  Chewie & Dribble came up with me, and of
course the fuzzies had to check everything out.  I'd know when Suzy was on
the bed because Chewie would jump a lot.  She loves to crawl under the
blankets and harass the cats.  Larry's been home this week on vacation, so
the only time the babies go up is when we go to bed.  It's really neat,
they all knew I was deathly sick and they treated me like glass-er, all
that is except the dreaded Genie monster.  Of course up she comes, it's
like "Oh, MA!  Your home!." Lick, lick, love love, CHOMP.
 
I've been taking pictures of the fuzzies, or attempting too.  So last night
I had Larry & Sara get them all together for a "group" picture.  Yeah,
right!  I'm trying to help Sara keep hold of them, get the camera on and
get positioned.  I'm not sure the two group pictures aren't just 'blurs of
fur'.  Sara couldn't keep Genie in her arms, Larry's group was trying to
climb up and over him, and then Sara would just dissolve into giggles and
fall over whereupon it was chase the four fuzzies down and get them back to
her.  Somebody said having ferrets was like having a five year old on a
caffeine high.  Now I know what daycare operators must go through!  I have
discovered Socks, Calvin, and Kit are real camera hams.  Of course, the
film was rewinding last night and everybody gathered around.  Sara said
"Great.  Next time just get something that makes noise and look at the
picture you can have!"
 
Now for my soapbox.  A lot of flames have been going on lately, and have
caused very ill feelings between people here on the FML.  The battle
between Hotdish and Judy Cooke is one example.  I know Judy, and I know
she's a wonderful person.  I didn't know Hotdish, but am sure she's not
really evil or nasty.  What happened there was a personal, off the FML
flame that escalated into a verbal battle and hurt feelings between two
people.  Group, please, I know from past experience on my own, when words
are said in nastiness, whatever, once this happens the feelings that are
hurt, intentional or unintentional, begin to multiply.  Before any of us
makes a flame to anyone, do what one of my very first supervisors told me
to do.  Write the letter or whatever that you really want to send.  Sit
back, read it three, four, or more times.  Then delete this and write what
you should say, in a different tone.  Don't fly off the handle and just
pound something out.
 
Sit down, think it over, write it out, read it.  Read it again.  See if
this is something if you received it how you would feel.  We're on this
list to help each other.  There is nothing wrong with constructive (note
the operative word here) criticism.  Criticism that's sent in a tone of
"oh, I know better than you" or "your a dummy, how can you do it this way",
whatever, does nothing but cause ill feelings, gives the person who sent
and who responds a bad name, demeans the FML.  I know from very hard, very
bitter experience, never, ever, let your last words to someone be in anger.
You may never have the chance to rectify this, and if you do, you may have
caused the other person to have developed such an intense dislike for you
that no matter what you say, it will fall on deaf ears.  I know this,
because there are some people that have been in my life that have said
things about me that if they came on bended knees, I wouldn't speak to
them, if they came to my door I'd shut it in their face.  My mother started
a fight with me the last time I ever was in her house, and our last words
to each other were in anger.  Even on her deathbed, she wouldn't let me
come to see her, and I had several people ask her to let me come to see
her-all I wanted to do was tell her I wasn't angry, ask her not be angry,
but she wouldn't let it happen.  Before you ask, "but don't you believe in
forgiveness?", yes, I do.  I've forgiven them, but I don't forget, nor do
I leave myself open to that kind of pain again.  It's unnecessary and
unwanted.  So please, again, don't let this keep happening on the FML.
Constructive, not disruptive or demeaning criticism, please.  No last
parting shots in anger and hurt feelings.  It gives us all a bad name, and
doesn't do a thing to help our beloved little fur kids.  There are people
here on the FML who won't write in because they fear to be flamed, others
fear flames when they write something concerning their babies health.  I
know, I've written to some of the people, asking if I can help, and they've
said they've been afraid of flames to come.  Let's get back to basics here,
ok?
 
Rebecca & the other two human slaves
The Crew of Merry Mayhem-
the 8 ferrets who run the place:  Socks, Kit, Genie, Scully, Calvin, Suzy
Derkins, Mookie, & Conan
the four cats who are slowly going under control of the fuzzies:  Chewie,
Dribble, Sarabi & Tigger
 
=======================
Rebecca McFarlane
Secretary
Basic Medical Sciences
School Veterinary Medicine
Purdue University
West Lafayette, IN  47907-1246
Phone:   765-494-8632
Fax:     765-494-0781
"Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crunchy and taste
 good with ketchup"
 
[Moderator's note: I've received email from both parties and they certainly
are a pleasure to deal with.  I suspect there was a serious misunderstanding
at some point... I'm sorry the FML became a vehicle to aid this.  BIG]
[Posted in FML issue 2784]

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