Garth:
 
First off, I am by no means a ferret expert.  I have been owned by one for
less than 6 months, so I reverted to dog training.  Simply: Drop them in the
nearest box every hour ON THE HOUR and give 'em linetone (or whatever) while
they're in the box.  With puppies, you set the oven timer and take 'em
outside.  Ferrets, being smarter (or more stubborn?) than dogs, seem to want
more than a pat.
 
I have succeeded, over the last 2+ months, in training Monster to 'fake'
very well.  When she decides she wants a treat, she goes in the box and
fakes.  If I've just cleaned the box, she lucks out and has to produce.
However, we've been accident-free for a while now.  BTW - she will also
appear in front of me and start backing up.  Maybe she thinks I won't notice
her in the box, and she won't get the treat?
 
Silly as it may be, a 'code phrase' (like - "gotta poop", rising up at the
end, in excitement, not like a question) has proven helpful (This derived
from an experience with race horses that were trained to produce a urine
sample when you snapped your fingers near their rear.  Amazing the things
you pick up over the years, aye?).  Speaking from experience, don't do this
when you are talking on the phone to someone you want to impress!  My friend
Alex did find it very amusing, however!
 
Good luck - it does take a lot of patience, and you do have to follow them
around immediately after they get up!
 
Megan and Monster
** Monster - "Hey - get over here with that bottle - I don't _CARE_ if Star
trek is on!"
[Posted in FML issue 1496]