Dear Sara Ferret, 

Please Greet Lily, my beloved little girl. I'm sorry this is long, but
feel the need to help you know Lily. I do so thank you for your time.

Now has been the most difficult loss of all. We had a lovely Adoption
from Heaven Scent. (many of mine are from there) She was a Dark nosed
Dew named Lily. When Sandi got her she had come from a broken home of
drug problems and neglect. She had 3 brothers and they all lived in a
cat sized pet Taxi for about 1 year. They all had been neglected and
were hungry with health troubles. Her Brothers were Lightning, Tubby,
and Bilbo. Sandi only had Lily (then Pea Pie) 2 weeks when we came to
find our first adoption. We only knew we wanted a girl. When I told
Sandi I liked dark noses she said 'Oh...you have to come back here and
see this girl then!" She took me to another room and dug under a sleep
box. Finally pulled out this lovely little DEW with her black/purple
nose. She handed her to me and she just kissed me. My God my heart was
sunk.

Sandi loaded us down with new home goodies and even a bigger cage than
I brought just for the 5-6 hour ride home. We also had picked out Winni
that day. ( Winni passed about 6-7 months ago) I had brought my 2 males
( Fizban & Raistlin) to make sure they got along with everyone. Lily
was always just wonderful. She played with these little rattle cat head
shaped balls by pushing them around the floor with hr nose. She loved
to dook while hiding in sleep sack and you rubbed her to play peek a
boo.

Lily started losing her shoulder hair in a few short months. I knew
she was 3-4 at that time so I called Sandi and said I needed a ferret
vet. I thought Lily was adrenal. Sandi set us up right away and we made
the 5-6 hour trip back to see her vet. Lily went in and yes she had a
adrenal tumor on her right side. The surgery was hard on her. She had
a bad night trying come around. But finally she did with Sandi's know
how. Lily did good for almost 2 years before the Adrenal issues
resurfaced in full force. She was 80% bald this spring. She was now
around 7 years old. A ferret vet here said he really honestly didn't
think another adrenal surgery would add time to her life. So we went
with Lupron.

After a few months we had all her hair back. She looked much better.
But then a couple months ago she started limping on 1 hind leg. After
a few visits to the vet it was found she had completely broken her leg
just under the hip bone. The would be no way to fix it. At that time
the vet also expressed concern that she had a large mass and something
else near her colon. We waited to see how she would fair the leg alone
and in 2-3 weeks she learned to walk again and even climb when she
wanted to. She was still so full of love. However we could see her
belly growing. She was always slender and sleek. But now pear shaped.
I got a appointment with a ferret vet a couple hours away. We saw him
just over a week ago. When he examined her he immediately sent us to
the vet college for ultra sound. We saw them the same day. They told
us she had a large mass in the center of her spleen. Both her adrenal
glands were now tumorous and her abdominal lymph nodes were are
enlarged. Basically she was just covered in cancer.

You would have had to know her. She had a daily/ weekly ritual of
climbing our bed to groom my husband head to toe. She loved him like
he was her baby. She hadn't been doing that for a while. And had some
other graphic signs of pain. We waited a week. But we had to help her
to the bridge. The chance that she could just plain hemorrhage and die
a slow painful death were NOT what wanted for her. So this is how it
went. I posted this to Ferret Universe. This was important to me
because Lily said good-bye.

I am writing this post with out really knowing where to start. Some of
you have fallowed my story of Lily for some time now. I have known for
some time her adrenal issues were back. I feared it had taken a turn to
full cancer almost a year ago. My fears were found correct a little
over a week back. We will never know if her adrenal tumor spread to the
mass that invaded her spleen and lymph nodes, or is she was also struck
by lymphoma. Regardless the cancer was growing fast and making her
uncomfortable. The gamble that few more precious days with us could
result in horrible, painful death was not one we wanted to take. I took
tons of pictures and movies this last week. I spent time telling Lily
how much I loved her. I got to have her sleep on my lap and chest a few
times. I gave her lots of tone. I feed her soup several times a day. I
trimmed her nails. I maid sure she had her favorite sleep sack.. I made
sure she had few times with her original business. Monday was one of
the hardest days in my life. Lily had given me kisses this last week.
But she hadn't felt much up to her once normal intense cleaning she
would do on me or my husband. Monday morning she kisses me a lot. I
was all ready crying. So many times I thought of telling my husband
to turn the car around. But we spoke very little on the way. Once we
got there I was crying again. When we got into the room. They explained
everything very nicely and put in the order for the drugs. Lily was
nervous and she choose to climb back on her soft bed inside her crate.
She laid there trying to get comfortable while I pet her. She kissed me
again and when my husband pet her she cleaned his hand as she had
always cleaned him like HE was her baby. They came in and took her for
only a minute while they gave her a sedative. When they came back he
said it would take 5-10 minutes. She scrambled to get back in her
bed/crate. It was only seconds before I could feel she was all ready
effected. I picked her up and held her close wrapped in her favorite
sack. As her head wobbled back and I nuzzled her she kissed me even
more. My husband then took her and held her close while crying. She
kissed him too. We then held her between us and cried together. A
couple minutes went by and the drugs took a very deep effect on her.
The vets returned and took us to a room. The gave her a mask to help
her breath deep, then delivered the final injection. I never took my
hand from her. She was gone just that fast. My husband and I balled and
the staff left us. We both promised her she would NEVER be forgotten.
She would always be loved. When the vets returned we made arrangements
for her cremation. We will get her remains in a couple weeks. I told
them how special she was. He comforted us in that we made the right
choice because things would have gotten very bad for her in a short
time. She would have suffered a lot. He told us we gave her a good
life. Very nice people that helped us that day. They wouldn't even
accept payment that day. We left in tears with our empty crate. I held
her sleep sack all the way home. I have put her little sack up with
the a stuffed DEW ferret I bought my husband a while back. It sits in
her bag with it's little black nose poking out. Her favorite rattle toy
inside as well.

I love all my ferrets. But Lily was something special. She showered US
with love. She was always so kind. She was so special, there will NEVER
be another like her in my life. I miss her sorely in a way that has
left me feeling so very empty. Something I have said to my friends, but
never to my husband, he repeated in his own wishes on that ride home.
He said he didn't regret what we had done. It was the right thing to
do. But he did regret that we had not had the chance to have Lily since
she was a baby. He said if he ever found the people that had neglected
her, mistreated her he would take the fine for assault and beat the
hell out of them. He told me he wanted to pick Lily up in the vet room
and run screaming out of there taking her away from there. To stop
what we had started. He maid me feel more sane because I had felt the
very same way.

I feel a little strange posting this very personal loss/experience. But
I wanted more than anything to tell people how very smart and beyond
our wisdom Lily was. She said good-bye to us. She knew she was leaving.
I think she understood why we were doing what we did. It was what had
to be done. The options were not options. She couldn't be left to
suffer and die painfully from her cancer. I have many pets that will be
waiting at the bridge when it's my time. But Lily will among the very
first I will look for. And then maybe I will get to hold her forever.

Lily Then
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v198/Ladyhawk12/LilyPlay31906.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v198/Ladyhawk12/Liliy31906.jpg

Thank you so much for your time. She will be looking for Lighning,
Tubby, Bilbo, Raistlin, Winni, Buffy and Zues.

Dooks and Huggs,
Kris & David 

[Posted in FML 5780]