Hi Folks,
 
It's been quite a while since my last post.  I'm still here.  Sometimes
we get in over our heads, you know?  I had to go without card exchanges,
too.  But I'm still here, reading daily, thinking a lot, and posting
very little.  Well, that's got to change, don't you think?
 
It's been a long haul for us in the Rotert household, but I think we're
finally all comfortable with ourselves again.  I have only one ferret in
my business these days.  Samurai, the youngest, is the only one I have
left.  The rest are all dancing at the bridge.  At some point my grief
became something I no longer wanted public.  Maybe having a child does
that, maybe just going through it too many times.  In any case, we've
gotten through.
 
Samurai is happy and healthy.  He's got a new cage and has moved back
into our bedroom, instead of being alone in what was the ferrets' play
area.  My daughter is 18mo now.  She loves to say hello to Samurai and
play in the room while he is playing.  She is now old enough to pet
instead of grab, provided we hold Samruai still for her.  I don't have
to worry too much about them playing together because Kit doesn't let him
get too close.  His whiskers are too tickly.  She's been bitten once.
Didn't even phase her.  He has not been bitten yet.  ;-)
 
It's funny what we consider adventures these days.  Anyway, we've grown
into ourselves, and all our family members can be together and enjoy each
other.  I wish that the others could be here to play with Kit now that
she's old enough, but we can only do what we can.  I can't wait to get
Kit's swimming pool filled so that she and Samurai can take dips on hot
afternoons.  And I'm sure Samurai will enjoy her sandbox easily as much
as she does.
 
So, you know, because I am a normal human, I will have some regrets, or
maybe not regrets as much as "what ifs" that hang about and sneak in on
those quiet, introspective days.  As I said, we can only do what we can
do, and I did my best by everyone.
 
This is where it gets cheesy.  I want to say something about personal
responsibility.  Now that I have come through to the other side of this
whole life change, and feel comfortable in my home, my life, my wallet,
my family again, the one thing I will never regret is making the choice
I did, to keep my furry family together.
 
Through those very hard times when I struggled to scrape together the
money to pay for medical treatement for the sick ones, through the grief
of waking one morning to one of my oldies having passed during their
night's sleep, I thought that maybe I had made a mistake.  Maybe they'd
be better off with someone who could spend more time and money on them.
Maybe maybe maybe.  The maybe's don't count, you know.  What counts is
that you love them.  I think I'd regret being here now without my
Samurai, I think I'd miss seeing my daughter lean toward his hammock
and blow him kisses.
 
Everybody goes through something in their lives that makes them question
their priorities.  And for some, sacrifices must be made, and no one can
judge them for that.  But for anyone who is at a point in their lives
where they feel their darlings would be better somewhere else, with
someone else, please consider very carefully.  If you just keep putting
off making that choice, and tell yourself that it will get better
someday, you'll eventually find yourself on the other side, family
intact, and you will thank yourself.  Be aware of the line between not
enough time and outright neglect and be sure that if you waiver over that
line you ask for help.  Remember that people who love you will help you.
Ask your friends or family to come over and play with the ferts, clean
cages, etc.  if you can't.  If money has become an issue and your ferrets
need medical care, eat a little humble pie and ask for help.  Vets
understand.  Family understands.  Friends understand.  Some wonderful,
amazing, loving people on the FML understand.
 
At the risk of being long-winded (yes, as you can see, I'm back to my
old self,) I just want to add that part of what helped me keep trudging
through was the FML.  Reading the FML reminded me every day of why I
chose ferrets to be my companions, and why I wanted to keep those ferrets
with me for as long as possible.  (I read while sitting at work, because
there just wasn't time for it once I got home, but my boss didn't seem to
mind, or notice...) I want to thank you all for that.
 
So, I advise anyone who is coping with something right now, and
questioning where their furry family fits into their life and their
priorities, to keep reading, keep talking and keep loving.  Remember
there are those of us who understand, and we'll be here for you if
you need us.  And most of all, just keep going!
 
Melissa, Cory, Katherine and Samurai
Missing the Weasel Squad at the Bridge
[Posted in FML issue 4525]