Schnitzel J. Ferret
Couchdigger and Antchaser at Large
 
My dearest Rosie and Maxie:
Salutations!
 
I have been reading the plans for you impending nuptuals and would like add
my congratulations.  Marriage can be a fine institution.  However, as you
are both quite young, I feel compelled to offer you some of the advice that
I have gained in my 8-1/2 years on this planet.  I myself have been married
twice, and let me tell you girls, Gibs just aren't what they used to be!
 
Once upon a time you could count on a marriage to last forever.  That is
sadly no longer the case.  You have to protect yourself!  Before you jump
into any long-term relationship, you really need to get some legal
counseling.
 
Now, I myself know my way around the four corners of a courtroom, and I have
climbed a few judges in my day.  I could tell you some stories that would
make your whiskers stand on end!  But it really all comes down to one thing:
inj order to avoid any trouble later, you need a prenuptual agreement!
 
There are important things to be decided, such as: Who will get custody of
the socks in case of a breakup?  What about the toys you bring into the
union--will they remain yours or will the boys take them over?  Who gets to
look out the car window on trips?  Who gets to run through the dryer tube
and who gets to chase?  Can you get out of the marriage if all your husband
wants to do is drag you around by the back of the neck?
 
Anyway, I hope you realize the importance of addressing these issues before
it's too late.  A little planning goes a long way.  I would help you, but as
I am only authorized to practice in Virginia, you really need to find a
law-ferret in your own area.
 
Good luck to you,
Schnitty
 
[Moderator's note: OK, so what's the ferret law in Virgina say about posting
someone's snout on a web page?  BIG]
[Posted in FML issue 1613]