Ed declares:
>"Were I a woman of child bearing age, what I would want to do is to have
>one of my embryos implanted with the genetic material so that I could give
>birth to a ferret.  Now isn't that interesting.  Can you think of the
>myriad problems that would result as a consequence of a woman giving birth
>to a ferret?  I reckon the birthing would be pretty easy, don't you think
>... that tiny little ferret kit would just slip thru the birth canal like
>a banana dropped thru a manhole."
 
Dear Ed: Given the downside of producing human babies (they tend to become
teen-agers), your giving-birth-to-a-ferret idea has its attractions.  But,
yes, I do foresee problems beyond simply making certain all delivery room
personnel have been thoroughly briefed before the happy event takes place.
 
You appear to envision a situation in which the mother's womb already has a
human embryo chugging along in there.  It seems to me that if this embryo
were then shanghied and implanted with ferret genetic material, the result
might still be all too human.  For instance, you could eventually end up
living with a cute furry back-talking teen-aged hob who's addicted to video
games and plays with firearms.  (Of course, he could also grow up and run
for congress in California, so the scenario isn't all black.)  Personally,
though, I'd prefer to start from scratch, so to speak, and have my
wonderbaby turn out all ferret, with maybe a human longevity gene mixed
in somewhere.  This could involve cloning, or just simply providing a
"hostess-womb" for a ferret zygote.
 
Also, your banana-down-a-manhole theory is fine as far as it goes, but it
has the potential to backfire in an uncomfortable manner.  As I understand
it, the human womb is programmed, under normal conditions, to expel the
baby only after it reaches a certain size.  So natural ferretbirth could
result in, say, an eight-pound infant.  This might be acceptable in itself,
but how long would its nails have grown in the preceding nine months?  Talk
about starting from scratch...
 
The legal ramifications undoubtedly would be enormous, as well.  People,
being what they are, would not stop with ferrets or even gorillas.
Lions, tigers, bears, hedgehogs...whole new and expensive areas of legal
specialization would open up and the Supreme Court would crumble under the
weight of litigation.  To what rights, for instance, would your ferret
offspring be entitled in regard to child support, your estate, public
education, fair housing and hiring practices, participation in HMO's,
voting, airline seating and taking out bank loans?  Would he/she eventually
be able to APPLY FOR A DRIVER'S LICENSE?
 
My mind having boggled completely at that last thought, I'll give the
podium back to you, Ed, and go take my Sunday nap.  I plan on having weird
dreams.
 
Signe
[Posted in FML issue 2717]