Hi Folks!
 
It's those clean-smellin', fluffy furred, country gentlemen Ferts, Tater
and Odie, comin' atcha agin.  How ya'll is?  How's your Momma and them?
 
We is madder than a nest full of hornet bugs what got their nest used for
a football in a Green Bay Packers game!
 
It all started this morning when we was hangin' out, mindin' our own
business, in the new hammock what Lyra done did made for us.  We was so
relaxtified that Odie had his rear end hangin' out of the hammock and
danglin' in our water bowl and he didn't even mind it none.  Tater had that
glassy look to his eyes that comes from a full belly and he was droolin'
just a mite.  He musta been dreamin' about Paw Paw.
 
Well, of a sudden like, Lyra opened up our Country Cottage and proceeded to
give us three Pounce Treats apiece.  We shoulda' knowed that something was
up on account of because we'd just had breakfast and treat time was a whole
long time away.  Tater was stashing his third treat for later when Lyra
snatched him up and proceeded to tote him to that little room down the hall -
the one where Paw Paw spent a whole lot of time when he was up here.
 
The next thing poor Tater knowed, Lyra be done plopped him into the bathtub
which was full of about eleventy thousand feets of water.  She did!  Now,
everybody knows that Tater ain't none too fond of snow, and it didn't take
him too long to finger out that water ain't nothin' if it ain't melted
snow.  He commenced to hollerin' and scramblin' and splashin' and carryin'
on like any sane fert would do when faced with imminent deaf by drowning!
Then, just to make sure that his deaf would be as uncomfortable as it could
possibly be, Lyra started rubbin' baby shampoo all over poor Tater and
rubbed it in till he looked like a rabid sheep critter!
 
We reckon that Tater was raisin' such a fuss that Lyra just wasn't havin'
no fun killin' him - and she mighta been afraid that the neighbors down the
road would hear him hollerin' and know that she was killin' weezils.
Whatever the reason, she rinsed him off, tried to smother him to deaf with
a towel, and plopped him back into our cage.
 
Before Odie knowed what was happenin', Tater run into our dryer hose to
hide from our crazed big sister, and Lyra snatched lil' ol' Odie up and
hauled him down the hall.
 
Now, Odie growed up in Illinois before he come to Atlanta to live with Mee
Maw and Paw Paw so he don't mind snow a bit and he loves to go swimming.
So he paddled around and swam in the tub for a while and was havin' a fine
old time.  Lyra even took a pitcher of him on account of because he looked
so cute.  The fun didn't last none too long though because Lyra commenced
to tryin' to kill Odie too!  She smeared that baby soap stuff all over
hisownself and lathered him up till he looked like a soap bubble with two
eyes and whiskers!
 
Just as Lyra was reachin' for Odie with a wash cloth to smothercate him
with, he run up her arm and jumped the bestest jump that any fert has ever
jumped.  The only problem was that he landed with a splash in that little
chair what Paw Paw was so fond of - the one with the little handle what
makes the water go away when you pull on it.
 
About that time, our new baby brother, Allen, woked up and commenced to
hollerin'.  We reckon that's what saved Odie's life.  Lyra pulled Odie out
of the water, toweled him off, and plopped him back into our Country
Cottage.
 
It's been about an hour since all this happened.  We has been doin' our
bestest to get the smell of that baby soap off of us by runnin' back and
forth through our dryer hose and wallerin' around in our hammock.  We just
don't smell like our ownselves no more and it's highly distressing.  At
least we is both still alive.
 
We ain't none too sure about little Allen though.  The last we seen of him,
Lyra had just finished nursing him and was totin' him down the hall with a
towel over her arm.  We'll keep ya'll posted.
 
Joy to the World!
 
Tater and Odie
 
{Paw Paw's Note: (not to be confused with a Moderator's Note) BIG, I just
got my credit card bill.  Two Thousand dollars to clean up a few little
fert poopies??  Hmmm.  So, how's the weather down there in the Bahamas?}
 
[Moderator's note: (not to be confused with a Paw Paw note)  I should
have thought of this for the FML 10th anniversary party!  BIG]
[Posted in FML issue 2465]