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Colonel Sebastian of the FLO here:
 
We have reports that cadets Odie, Tater, Maxie, and Rosie are engaging in
and propagating ungrammatical use of the English language.  This behavior is
commonly known as "baby talk." The FLO takes full responsiblity for any
injuries or abuses the aforementioned cadets may have caused by their
flagrant ungrammatical language.  Allow me to quote from the FLO training
manual.
 
Section 37, paragraph 5:
 
In the event that you unexpectedly come across highly offensive
ungrammatical use of English, take the following precautions immediately.
Remove an oxygen mask from the panel above your head.  Breath deeply.  If
you begin to feel dizzy, hold your head between your knees for a count of
ten, then resume use of the mask.  The mouth can be washed with water or
alcohol to remove the mumsey wumsey taste.  In the event of nausea, paper
bags have been provided.  Should the attack last for more than five minutes,
you may abandon your seat.  The cushion is an approved flotation device.
Remember, the fumes are lighter than air, so stay close to the floor.  As a
last resort, you should find a space bar, arrow key, or some other
combination of keys on your keyboard that will remove you to a grammatical
zone of the FML.
 
As for Tater, Odie, Maxie, and Rosie, they have been issued one demerit
apiece.  This organization is serious, men.  We're not here to be cute.
We've got a job to do.  Now stand up.  Suck those guts in!  Tater, what have
you been eating?  Your breath smells like Caro Syrup!  Now repeat after me.
The rain in spain falls mainly in the plain.  Peter Piper picked a peck of
pickled peppers....
 
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[Posted in FML issue 1614]