> From:    Wolfy <[log in to unmask]>

Wolfy thought she was being cute to share the following with the ferret
community:

Renee called me to inform me that she might visit near Thanksgiving.
That gives us enough time to prepare for a category 5 hurricane, don't
ya think? I need to get to work fairly soon though to ensure the safety
of all. My response: Hello! Hurricanes usually DO allow time for
preparation.

And brazenly shared her plans to prepare for my visit:

>List of things I need to do:
> - Store bottles of water to drink, because if I don't she might drink
>up the beer.

My response: Unlikely! I have yet to find any left when I get there!

>- Lock all of the kitchen appliance cabinets because if I don't they
>will be strewn all over the place and used/dirtied.

My response: If Sean doesn't learn to cook from ME, who will teach him?

>- Disconnect the stove and tell her it's gas but we couldn't pay the
>gas bill and that's why it won't work. This way I don't gain ten more
>pounds onto my petite self.

My response: Petite -- pfft! How on earth can I reply to that? ROTFLOL

> - Lay out a copy of the most current issue of Ferrets magazine turned
>to MY column, or she will read Alex's first, and I won't get first
>dibs on the best and most creative praises.

My response: Nope! I'll read MINE! And Sukie's. Not gonna read yours NO
more!

> - Go fill up a five gallon gas can, because last time she rolled in
>on fumes and then couldn't LEAVE.

My response: Well, if your driveway didn't conspire to keep me
there . . .

> - Hide all ferret grooming products or she'll corner me into a
>ferret spa day. And I'm too lazy to do that.

My response: SHE said it, not me!

> - Drag the $30 air mattress out of storage because she likes that
>better than the fancy couch with pull out bed we bought for her and
>other family that we have yet to pay off! Pray that we don't forget
>and let any ferrets out while the bed is out, or I'll be out $30 and
>miss the furniture payment for the bed she does NOT use.

My response: Nobody sits on me when I sleep on the air mattress and
when I sleep on the pull out bed, I wake up to find the entire family
sitting on the other couch all scrunched up together and watching me
sleep! And people wonder why I am afraid to fall asleep there!

> - Have trash bags handy to collect all debris she leaves in her path,
>especially all of the cool items that fall out of her car when she
>first opens the door.

My response: In Tennessee, it usually takes a real big gun to be cool!
At Wolfy's it only takes a McDonald's bag . . .

> - Get out fishing gear, because Renee wants to show us how to really
>fish. She's going to show us how to catch, kill, and gut a catfish
>right on the dock and put he rednecks from Soddy Daisy to shame. I
>gotta see this.

My response: NOW you're talking!

> - Get out ear plugs as she is bringing her banjo and she is still
>just learning. Apparently not all southerners are born with the
>ability to play "Dueling Banjos".

My response: Would you rather I pull out the clarinet? Or, sing??? And,
uh, didn't I bring the earplugs in the first place? Huh???????

> - Charge batteries for the digital camera because her ferrets, unlike
>mine, are not boring.

My response: And for this I am grateful! Because of Wolfy, I have
wonderful shots of Shadow and Rocky, not to mention my other guys.

> - Lastly, padlock Blacky's cage because he always licks his chops at
>the site of Renee's kids and thinks, "lunch". This will prevent Renee
>from thinking she is a great "ferret whisperer" and trying to put them
>together for the umteenth time. After having a heart attack and calming
>Sean down from "ticking", then I won't have to hear, "And that's
>okaaaay."

My response: It's okay! The boy oughta be able to play with the others.
<sigh>

Okay then. That's a start anyway. Oh I know! Staci should come up too
so she can play cub reporter and report the natural disaster to the
FML. Sean can take a video for you guys of her standing right in the
middle of the storm and trying to overshout and report the chaos that
will be surrounding her. She'll give Anderson Cooper a run for his
money!

And then Staci jumped in:
>There is nothing I would not love more than to come to Tenn. from
>Texas and report storms. Especially Cat. 5 Down Storms.

Unfortunately I think the "other" Bermuda Triangle is right around your
house. Remember, I "lost" one of my tire bolts (or whatever holds the
tire on) and if Renee is "loosing" stuff too, I am afraid of what might
get left behind :D hehe

>I would NOT wnat to "loose" my new little girl Sophie, who I JUST got
>4 weeks ago :)

My response: SEE? I am not the only one who loses stuff there. I have
absolutely NO double that the house is a black hole that sucks
everything into it. I have, however, managed to recoup my lost sock,
Staci. And, to the best of my knowledge, I have not left any
fur-covered parts there. I did leave a fish, once, but he is back in
his own little home here again.

Oh, and ya see how she PICKS on ME? Good thing I have Sean and Chet
there to protect me!

I'll get you, my pretty! Be afraid, be very afraid! Bwahahahaha!
-- 
renee :)
Catch me at the Breeders' Forum!
Nov. 10 in Pittsburgh, PA

[Posted in FML 5728]