My Dearest Sammi,
 
Words cannot describe how happy you have made me.  Its like finding an extra
bottle of ferretone dat Ma doesn't know about.  :) Give my condolances to
you sifters, Maxie and Rosie.  You shouldda heard da tings Ma called dose
"dogs" Odie an Tater an how she went on an on bout someting called "Y
kromysomes".  In respect to their current circumstance, I ask you to be
thinkin of settin a wedded date not too soon.  Anyways, we need to have time
to get to know one another better before we take da leap.
 
You described yourself just da way I pictured you, my lovely Sammi.  I am a
big strappin, 3.5 lbs, of wuvable, huggable, butterscotch hob!!  Ma was
callin my color juandice till uncle Bob set her straight!  I doesn't really
smell as bad as he told Ma I did, either.  My says dat people pay a lot of
money for musk smell and she's lucky cause she gots it for nuttin!  An I
gots my name cause instead of a wittle pink nose I gots me a smudge colored
nose.  I am vwery well mannered except when Ma says I gets a wild hare
(whatever dat is).  My favorite treat is watermellon.  Ma says I go thru one
a week!!
 
Gots to go now.
 
Yours forever,
 
Smudge
[Posted in FML issue 1654]