1. Ingredients should NOT be:
   a. A baggy sweater
   b. Loosely worn big black boots - unlaced
   c. A bottle of dark purple nail polish
   d. A hangover
   e. Three chipper, bouncy ferrets
 
2. Proper procedure is NOT to sit on the floor, especially so when none of
 the room's occupants (ferrets, see 1d) have ever encountered nail polish
 before.
 
3. Lace up your boots, for cryin' out loud. One of those ferrets will
 probably try to see if it can fit in next to your foot, and with your
 luck, you'll have a nail polish bottle in one hand and the brush in the
 other and won't be able to remove the ferret when it decides it's not
 going to make it all the way into the boot and that it should bite your
 ankles instead.
 
4. Take off the sweater. It's black, the ferrets (see 1d) are shedding,
 and despite knowing that climbing around in/on sweaters is clearly their
 favorite game (hallelujah, summer!) that activity does not mesh well with
 the eventual goal of nicely polished nails.
 
5. At the very least, pick a nail polish color you don't mind having
 everywhere BUT on your nails.  Or wear clothes that ought to have nail
 polish stains on them anyway.
 
6. At the very, VERY least, pick a morning on which you aren't already
 questionably wobbly from staying out questionably late and drinking
 questionably large amounts of beer.
 
7. Doesn't acetone kill brain cells? Figures.
 
Melissa
 
 ___ Melissa Litwicki __ [log in to unmask] ___
 By the whole newsgroup devoted tennis showing
     it after scarfing fork and laughters
[Posted in FML issue 1877]