Ok - I have reached my human bounds with this lil guy.  He begins his
day (after I get home from work) - by "coming out to play".  He
unfortunately, thinks this time is for "coming out to terrorize the
entire family unit.  He begins his tirade by leaping up and down (yes,
like a bunny) - straight up in the air and launching for my calves (not
the moo kind).  After drawing significant blood from me, he turns and
chases the dog into the walls, and corners and proceeds to gnaw on him
until the poor pitiful dog - comes screaming to Mommy - with fert firmly
attached to his tail.
 
After detaching fert from dog - I set him down (while scooting dog
outside) again.  Off he goes in search of the cats.  Chases cats to top
of fridge and stands at the bottom - literally, jumping up and down and
"dooking" at them.  He tires of this rather quickly, after oh, about an
hour - and heads off to find Helena and Romulus.  They have gotten smart
and which ever way he goes - they go the opposite!  Unfortunately, he
finds them and begins the terrorizing of them.  Nothing scares him.
Nothing.....except......tonite was bath night.
 
Hehehehehe.  Our revenge on Artemus.  Or so we thought.  I fill the tub
to about 3 inches with ferretsheen and water.  Helena and Romulus - love
their tubby time.  Artemus, however, thinks that we are trying to kill
him.  I placed him in the bubbles......I have never in my life seen a
ferret look so terrified......he grabbed my wrist with his paws and dug
in - refusing to let go.  All the while, screaming (yes, I said
screaming) at the top of his furry lungs......Now mind you, this is not
his first bath - however, I think he dislikes it so much because he has
to "slow down" while in the water.  So sudsy, sudsy, rinsy, rinsy, dryie,
dryie.  Artemus, after leaving the tub - took one look at me - bit my toe
- turned around and ran smack into the bathroom door.  Ouch.  He turned
around again, bit my toe again, and ran into the door.  This happened 3
times.  My husband had to open the bathroom door - as Mommy, Helena and
Romulus were all laughing our butts off.  One soaked mommy - complete
with scratched wrists, two sudsy ferts it was too much.......I think the
best part was when i fell into the tub with Helena and Romulous (it got
a bit slippery on the edge) - and continued laughing with sudsy ferts
clambering all over me.  What a fun night.  Does anyone know where I can
get some ferret valium?
 
Kimberly Gorman
[Posted in FML issue 3901]