Kat: thanks for pointing out the hieroglyphic stuff I didn't mention.
Trying to respond to several questions in a single post is hard, and stuff
invariably gets cut.  But that's ok, because it allows others to join in.
Great job, but then I like any Egyptophiles <g>.
 
I also want to point out (for accuracy) a friend in Mexico pointed out that
in one of my posts I mentioned coyote was a corruption of the Aztec term
"coyotl," and that technically, "Aztecian" is not a language, but a culture.
He is right of course; I purposely made the blunder to save space and
increase understanding.  "Coyotl" was in the language spoken by the Aztecs.
Sorry.  Thanks for reminding me of the importance of accuracy, Juan.
 
Carla: You can have another chance to see me next weekend, but you might
have to meet me half-way, like Calgary (Just kidding).  Not that I dislike
the southwest part of Texas (I would love to go into the Guadalupes), but
time is a big factor.  If we can't meet next week, I'll stop by in August.
Promise.  But you have to take responsiblity for my mustyspellings.
 
Lynn: I'll be in Portland by July 3.  Have the food ready the following
weekend!  And the brews, my special Oregon friend!  And all you other
special NW people.  I'll be in the field until Aug 9, so I'll have gobs of
visiting time.
 
****DISCLAIMER: The following post has graphic descriptions of ferret
anatomy.  It also has a few jokes that might be seen as insensitive.  It is
also very brief so some parts may not be perfectly described.  I also rib
Rudy-Bob slightly.  (And make a few puns--gasp!)****
 
Regarding ferret CPR.  I, and others, posted on artifical respiration some
months ago (maybe someone can post the issues).  The only things about the
recent stuff I want to point out is that human sternum is flat and only a
short distance from the heart.  Ferrets have huge chests to their body
size--a function of their metabolic rate--with relatively lots of space
between a dowel-like sternum and heart.  That means, to work, front-to-back
heart compressions will most likely break most of the poor guy's ribs and
cause severe internal damage before any good is done.  You could lay the
ferret on its side for a lateral compression, but you would have to know the
exact location of the heart, and lateral compressions don't fill the heart
very well.  With either method, you run the risk of rupturing the heart,
which, BTW, is smaller than the average fingernail of a nervous, caffine
swigging, chainsmoking nail-biter.  The heart rate for ferrets would require
a minimum CPR rate at about 1.5 to 2 times a second (CPR rates are about 1/2
to 2/3rds the normal heart rate).  Compression depths for human babies is
about 1-2 inches; I can't be sure nor accurate for the ferret, but knowing
the thoracic anatomy, I would guess sternal compressions would need to be at
least 3/8th to 1 inch, depending on the ferret.  You can see the danger from
such squishings; compressing the chest runs the risk of breaking ribs,
vertebrae, and sternibrae, and rupturing the heart, lungs, diaphragm,
spleen, liver, and stomach.  If your ferret suffers from any disease with
osteoporosis as a side-effect, you will crush the thorax and the splinter
the ribs; even if the heart restarts, the ferret will not be able to
breathe.  If lucky, the bone splinters will not cut the major arteries and
veins, nor puncture the heart or lung.  You may think I'm exagerating, but
I'm not.  Just ask anyone who has done CPR on old people or babies; you
*will* break ribs.
 
Lots of other stuff happens to cardiac tissue and blood when the heart
stops.  Without the proper injectable medications and electronic technology,
CPR has virtually no chance of working, no matter how good you are at
compressing the chest.  The truth is, if you are more than a few minutes
from those medications, and you did not observe the arrest, CPR will not
work, because it is based on the premise that the heart will restart, and
without them, it won't.  While I am not a vet, U of Missouri has a fine vet
school, and I hang out there quite a bit (and even chased off from time to
time).  I asked around, and was told that CPR is not generally done in small
companion pets because of the certainty of damage and the general
impossibility of successful recesitation (yes, they do teach chemical and
technological measures to take during surgical and similar procedures, but
generally, mechanical compressions are deligated to animals whose anatomy
can take the stress.) I don't know if an offical vet policy exists.  I doubt
if CPR is addressed.
 
Artificial respiration is a slightly different thing, and can work if
carefully done.  If the heart is still pumping, a few breaths may be all it
takes to jump-start the fuzzy.  But again, remember the chances are
extremely small (Refer to earlier posts).  But CPR?  It would be something
that would require extensive training to do properly, so you can respond to
a rather hopeless situation, in a community lacking the proper medical
support for such proceedures.  Remember they don't send paramedics for
ferrets, and if they did, how many communities have a ferret emergency room?
Is the chance of recesitation worth the loss of dignity?  Personally, I
might try it for a minute or so, but no more.
 
I'm not suggesting you don't try.  I'm not suggesting to hide in a cave.
I'm not even suggesting such procedures couldn't be developed.  I'm just
pointing out the facts of the problem.  Try it; what have you got to lose?
Just understand your chances are smaller than finding a brain in a Ca-Ca
game warden's head.  (Ooooo.  Like that one.)
 
Please don't be overly sensitive about my insensitive attempts at humor --
especially you, Rudy-Bob -- there is no intent to harm; just lighten a dark
subject or two.  Don't read into it; sometimes a ferret butt is just a
ferret butt.  And, being somewhat of a nerdish osteologist, my fibula
attempts to be humorus doesn't strike everyone's funny bone, cox maybe I
don't articulate it well.  No one's forcing you to joint in; just
dismember-- all ribbing is in fun.  It won't costa you anything to ignore
it.
 
Bob and the 14 Waskally Weesuls
[Posted in FML issue 1610]