[FML QUESTION]: "Since starch isn't a good binding agent to use could the
companies use something else?"
 
Sure they could, but the binding properties are not all they are after.
What they want is a cheap way to make the food resistant to spoilage, have
little odor, and possess a color and texture HUMANS favor.  If you used a
protein binder, it would hold the mixture together, but wouldn't have the
same spoilage and odor properties.  Nor would it be as cheap.
 
[FML QUESTION]: "...still be kibbled food without the starch or with much
smaller levels than now?"  "Could they been made and be edible without
added binding ingredients?"
 
Technically, a kibbled food is a biscuit, which requires a large amount of
starch binder (50%+) to cook to the final form.  Pelleted foods are also
bound with high amounts of starches.  Some are also extruded; others are
simply compressed into their final shape.  Pelleted foods generally are
softer, have a higher moisture content and more odor.  Sure, they could be
made; you could have a wide range of food products, ranging from wet canned
foods to freeze-dried chunks.  BUT, no starches?  Then no kibbles.  Kibble
requires starch binders.  You people with ferrets having insulinoma should
consider this.  IF kibble is 50% starches, and 50% of the consumed starch
is converted into sugar, THEN for every ten pound bag of food the ferret
eats, it could consume 2.5 pounds of sugar.  And you worry about a little
honey....
 
[FML QUESTION]: "I wonder if a high animal content (mixed parts to not miss
important nutrients) could be bound-up with the same protein gelatin used
in Cheweasels?"
 
I like that sort of idea.  Maybe something like spam, but not salted?  Sure
it could be done, but think of the cost!  I stopped feeding my tuna cat
food to my cat because it isn't much cheaper than human canned tuna AND I
can be sure efforts are taken to protect dolphins (not guaranteed with pet
foods).  High quality pet food shouldn't exceed the cost of similar human
products, BUT, it would be tremendously more expensive than kibble.
 
[FML COMMENT]: "Bob C's 'opening shot ' put down on the vegetarian
question leaves a bad taste in my mouth about our treatment of our fellow
ferret-lovers." "I'd like to suggest he 'stick a sock in it', but
appreciate that anyone living with 16 ferrets can't find a sock before the
foot is firmly in the mouth."
 
(Bob's sarcastic response): So let me get this straight.....I can't make a
joke regarding something said by an anonymous person that puts down an
IDEA, but you are allowed to make fun of someone and mention names to put
down a PERSON?  Interesting.  You don't throw stones at sinners, do you?
 
(Bob's smart ass response): Actually, I'm technically "A Royal Pain In The
Ass." I gained that title following one of my numerous craniorectal
impactions, but can't be sure; I'm still in the dark.  As the reigning FML
smart ass, I AM in the position of offering advice to those who wish to
insult others.  First, you need a comment with a biting edge to it.  "The
foot is firmly in the mouth" is just plain wussy.  Try something like,
"your head was stuck up your ass and your joke stunk..." Second, mentioning
yourself in an insult leaves you open for fast retorts.  For example, you
said "leaves a bad taste in my mouth," which gives a smart ass a retort
with obvious sexual or excretory innuendo.  Last, you need to insult
someone who cares.  Insulting someone who doesn't is like making love to a
shadow; it's just not very fulfilling.  Not saying *I* don't care; your
comments brought me to tears and I have learned a valuable life lesson.
Honest.
 
(Bob's wussy new age response): Thank you for the attitude readjustment.
I'm so ugly!  Hold me!!  <sob>
 
(Bob's explanatory response): I use humor for several reasons, the least
of which is because *I* think I'm funny.  I think the 11th commandment is
"Thou shalt laugh" and it is perhaps the only one I haven't broken.  Humor
sort of takes the "hurt" off some comments.  You're not one of those
humorless stiff people who always take remarks too seriously, are you?
Come on; you know as well as I do that if a joke doesn't have some bite to
it, its just not funny.  Good humor requires that split second thought,
"Serious?" The best humor ALWAYS offends somebody.  Since I offended you,
it must have been a pretty good joke.  Thanks!!  I'll try to be more
offensive in the future!  I PROMISE!!  <snicker>
 
Bob C and 16 Mo' Purposefully Politically Incorrect Pranksters
[Posted in FML issue 3012]