Whew!
Everybody's home and safe.
 
I was working at the computer tonight and 'awoke' to an ominous silence.
Actually, it was a sound that made me aware that there had been an
ominous silence.  I'm sure you know what I mean.  I heard one --only
one -- ferret trotting across the floor, coming from the direction of
the supposedly closed kitchen door.
 
Yep.  the door was open.  And three ferrets nowhere in sight.  To
understand the true horror of this, you have to know that a) my house is
a construction site; on the other side of that door are numerous holes
under the floor, walls without sheetrock, and piles of construction
materials and debris, and b) I have a cat door that opens to the outside.
To make things worse, one of the missing ferrets belongs to a friend.
 
A quick search in the inhabited part of the house turned up no one.
Hammocks empty, bags empty, even the compartment under the file drawer
was empty.  It was a vain hope; what self-respecting ferret would remain
here when the forbidden _there_ beckoned?  (Sam, the Great White Weasel
had finished his explorations, and had very sensibly had returned for
water, treat, and a favored nap-spot.  As alpha, he can do what he
wants.)
 
I call the friend who owns the guest ferret, hoping he can come search,
but it's 10pm and his cell phone is off.  I leave a voicemail.
 
Next step: Close the cat door.  Grab a flashlight, and make a quick
survey of the house foundation.  Nada.  The excavated area?  No.  Go back
to the house for a recorder; the guys are fascinated by music and though
I can't say they come to it, the sound might provoke movement I can hear.
I come back out.  Call.  Play.  Walk down to the end of the street where
a dog is barking, just in case.  No sign of anyone.  A few neighbors peer
out.
 
Check the basement.  Although the cellar door is closed, there are holes
in the foundation from the outside.  No.  As I come up the stairs, I hear
something upstairs.  Aha!  That sounded ferrety.  Frankie has a favorite
spot under the floorboards; he makes a beeline for it every chance he
gets.  Unfortunately I can't get anywhere near it; I can only make
interesting noises and try to lure him out.  Finally a nose pokes out --
but it's black, not grey!  It's Missy!  She's never been up here before,
and is all bushy-tailed.  I get her out and take her downstairs.  She's
thirsty - all that plaster and dust.  I go back to the floor access and
make noise.  No response.  If anyone else is there, he must be asleep.
 
Hoping that everyone is inside, I nonetheless put food and water outside
on the steps.  More searching.  Then I call my friend again to leave a
progress report.  As his voicemail answers, I see Frankie trotting up the
walkway, calm as you please; 'that was fun now how about some ferretone'?
As I scoop Frankie up, I gasp something incoherent on my friend's
voicemail.
 
My guys are now all accounted for, but Louie the guest weasel is still
missing.  He's the one most used to going outside, and I'm worried that
he's the one most likely to wander.  I'm still hoping he's inside
somewhere, but if Frankie was out, I'm sure Louie went out too.  They're
exploring buddies.  I finally decide to reopen the cat door, Ssince Louie
isn't so good at climbing, I make a ramp up to the cat door.
 
As I'm doing this, who comes sauntering up the driveway but Louie.  I am
SO pleased that he didn't head across town or down to the river, and I
tell him so.  He just says 'Huh?  What's the big deal?  I kept telling
you I wanted to go outside!  Well I did, and now it's time to nap so I'm
going to my hammock.  Goodnight.  Uh -- where's the ferretone?  Oh good."
 
Now it's 2 am and everyone is bedded down, and safe, and I'm slowly
winding down from the scare.  I am very impressed and pleased that
everyone knew to come home.  I didn't 'find' anyone but Missy.  Sam,
Frankie, and Louie each stayed out as late as he cared to, and came
home by himself when he was good and ready.  They all knew where home
was, even my visitor boy.
 
With great relief -- Claire
Sam the Great White Weasel, Lord Franklin the Explorer,
Missy-trouble-Boo, and (guest) Louie.
[Posted in FML issue 4221]