After months of research I have compiled the following list on what our
furry masters hear when we talk to them.
 
    What we say                          What a ferret hears
 
"Use the litter box"                 "Poop anywhere I'll clean it up"
"Stop digging at the carpet"         "I hid a treat under there"
"Stay out of there"                  "Hey, here's a new place to explore"
"Where's my socks?"                  "I don't need socks you can have them"
"No, you don't need anymore treats"  "If you look cute enough I'll give
                                      you more"
"This is mine"                       "I've got a new toy for you"
"You can't have this"                "Bet you can't get this"
"Stop digging in the plants"         "I think there's gold down there"
"You smell, it time for a bath"      "I love your smell, lets play hide
                                      and seek"
"What are you doing up there?"       "Wow, that could be your new play area"
"You guys are driving me nuts"       "I love it when you do that"
"Where are you, I have to go to      "If I can't find you, you can have
 work"                                run of the house
"I found a ferret hair in my glass"  "Your hair just adds flavor to this
                                      water"
"There, they can't get it here"      "Hey! I just put a new toy up here"
"I love you"                         "I love you, you fill an empty place
                                      in my heart, lets play"
 
Ghost- "scratch my back when you say that"
B.J.- "I've saved room for some more treats"
James (aka ferret slave/research subject)- I count only two ferrets, but
the mess had to been made by 20 or more ferrets!!
[Posted in FML issue 2489]