Condolences to those with lost, sick, or angeled keyboard dancers...
 
(Dance! Dance! Dance! Dancin' Machine! ...now...where's the SEND button?)
 
Dear Anon:
 
Here's some EXCELLENT advice:
 
Scroll, scroll, scroll yer cursor,
gently down the screen,
merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
be careful of what you read!
 
Don't like the post?  Think its silly?  Causes you to lose valuable sleep
time?  Skip that bad puppy!  Its easy!  Just send me $149.95 and I'll
give you detailed instructions on how to click on the scrollbar to the
right, or dial the little wheel thingie on your mouse, or press the down
arrow...wait...I just gave you the info...now you won't send the money!
Drat!
 
Actually, to be a little more serious, you have to treat this list just
as you would a group of people at a very nice party.  You might not like
person A's breath, or person B's blouse, or person C's teeth, or person
D's shoes.  However, you don't stand on the coffee table and complain
about all of the things you don't like about the people at the party, or
the content of their conversations, or the temperature of the punch.  You
just grin, bear it, and move around the room until you find the coat rack
so you can hide behind it.
 
If the party is just too much of a problem for you, page yourself (don't
have a pager?  Call 1-900-555-9876 and ask for Dave!) and tell the host
you have an emergency and have to leave!  If you see a message on the
list that you just don't like the content of, skip to the next one!  To
be honest, there are days when I end up skipping the ENTIRE LIST because
I don't like the content (I tend to not like to read about furkids
passing on, even though I like to let Sandy know about it.  I also don't
like silly arguments, fights, name-calling, trees falling on my house,
exploding cigars, or whoopie cushions).
 
If you like to print out the list and read it while sipping coffee in the
kitchen, cut-n-paste it to Wordpad, delete the messages you don't like,
*then* print it!  Viola!  End of problem!
 
Finally, maybe you didn't think of it like this (most people never do),
but by complaining about the content of those posts, you are showing a
good deal of intolerant behavior.  In today's world, intolerance is not
really...uh...tolerated well.  This is a time of live and let live.
Please learn to be more tolerant of others, so that they will be more
tolerant of you.  If you learned to live with fuzzies, I'm surprised
you haven't already learned this lesson.
 
Now, take a deep breath...then another...and another.  Continue until you
pass out.  Why would you want to do this?  Why, so you can wake up with a
bunch of furries licking your face!  What better way to wake up? :)
 
Todd and the (How long do we keep lickin' this face???) Fuzzbutt Rodeo
Clowns!
 
---
mailto:[log in to unmask]
http://www.netconex.com/toddl/page2/
 
[Moderator's note: Scrolling past posts you don't like is OK up to a
point, but if the FML is filled with posts most people don't like then
it's just a waste of everyone's time.  We're more or less all friends
here and a little banter is great, but overall, I really want to keep
posts pertinent and not waste all our time (mine too).  BIG]
[Posted in FML issue 4361]