ASSEMBLY LINE NEUTERING: There are state and federal laws, veterinary
associations, research organizations, ethics committees and humane societies
that would take a dim view of unsafe or illegal practices of any kind.  Most
of these have some sort of monitoring program, and considering the number of
complaints they must get, its a wonder that MF can continue operation.
Obviously, they must be adhering to some minimal standard.  If you wish to
raise that standard, you can get a national ferret organization possessing
sharp teeth to apply pressure, you can get state or federal authorities to
change laws, or you can convince MF to make voluntary changes.  Even if MF
won't tell anyone of us what the death rate is for their ferret
neutering/descenting, they have to make that information available to those
monitoring agencies.  Complaints on the FML carry as much weight as a
feather on the moon.  Since I know of *NO* national organization with teeth
sharp enough to force changes, and MF isn't voluntarily doing anything, then
you are left with using existing state and federal laws to force the issue.
My suggestion is to use those laws to force out the information, then, if
warranted, get animal lovers such as myself to help you boycott, force legal
changes, or even shut them down.  But you need proof, not supposition.
 
ANIMAL RESEARCH: The reason ferrets are becoming so popular for medical
research has nothing at all to do with MF, no matter what you say or how
many ads you talk about.  Go through the older issues of "Laboratory Animal
Science" or similar journals and the reason is clear and openly stated.
Ferrets are promoted as an ALTERNATIVE to sheep, dogs, cats, primates, and
other animals with a high public awareness.  MF may be jumping on the
bandwagon, but they are a passenger along for the ride.  The horse drawing
the cart are scientists with a legal obligation; a LEGAL REQUIREMENT to do
animal testing prior to human tests.  The law requires the tests, but the
scientist can often pick the animal, and ferrets are chosen because they
have negative public recognition, unlike those cute little bunnies.  I don't
want ferrets injured or killed any more than the most violent PETA person,
but I ask you, what is your solution to this problem?  I can't offer one.  I
can't tell the parents of a thalidomide child that animal testing should be
stopped.  I can't tell the children of a parent suffering from a massive
stroke or heart attack that animal experimentation should be halted.
Federal law prohibits dispensing drugs without proper testing, which
includes animals, it prohibits selling certain types of products without
safety tests, which includes animals, it prohibits stuff you couldn't even
imagine with out specific testing, much of which includes animal testing.
Even if you could get MF to stop, what of it?  You have done nothing but the
equivilent of saying, "We need prisons, but not in my backyard." If it isn't
MF, then it will be someone else, if not ferrets, then rabbits.  The
alternative is no testing.  I don't know about you, but I'm not ready to go
back to the days of a slug of whiskey and a bullet and the hope death is
from a blood clot rather than blood poisoning.
 
MARSHALL FARMS: These guys are *not* saints; they are red white and blue
All-American capitalists out to turn a buck.  I think kits are removed too
early from their mothers, they are neutered and descented too early, they
are shipped out to pet stores too young, their mothers are killed when no
longer able to profitably produce kits, etc., etc.  etc.  Of course, these
are only my deeply-held opinions.  Could those statements be proven?  I'm
sure some can, but then someone would need thousands of dollars and do
animal experiments to prove them.  What a delema; to prove MF is doing bad
things, we have to do bad things.  And we would need money.  If everyone on
the FML gave $100 to the cause each year, asked FML vets and scientists to
volunteer time, and got volunteers to run the experiments, we could do it in
say, 4-7 years.  Until then, our only choice is to use capitalism against
them by educating prospective ferret buyers.  That means community outreach
and education.  That also costs time, people, money.  And you have no
guarantee it will work, especially without a national organization to
oversee quality control and insuring people in Topeka get the same info as
people in Juno.  The problem is, how can I convince MF they are harming
ferrets and get them to slow down the assembly line when private breeders
are popping out ferrets for as low as $50 in some areas.  Slowing down the
line, keeping old breeders and what have you costs money, reducing profits.
The only way to get a concession is to make it profitable.  I'm waiting for
suggestions.  I'm still waiting.
 
FML SEMIANNUAL MF DEBATE: Folks, this is so circular that it defines its
own tautology.  A says X, B says Y, A calls B Z and on and on ad infinitum,
ad nausium.  Both sides take an extremely complex issue and simplify,
stereotype and anthropomorpize so much that the issues are lost among the
egos, which is reflected in each person's attitude that they are making
some important new point never before considered.  Right.  Players change
in some sort of an electronic tag team manner, lines are drawn, lines are
crossed, and Bill steps in and tables the discussion.  What has been
accomplished?  If nothing changes, if nothing is accomplished, then the
debate is nothing more than hot air being blow up each others monitors.  A
few months go by and the cycle repeats.  It reminds me of people trying to
climb a sand dune using their butt cheeks for locomotion.  You go nowhere
fast, but you make good time standing still.  Want to get me on your side?
DO SOMETHING!  Organize something, boycott something, get off your butt and
out from behind the keyboard and make news.
 
This constant arguing of the same issues reminds me of the story about the
people who told the same jokes so often they gave them numbers to save time.
Everyone said a number, and they all laughed.  Some new guy tried, and no
one laughed.  When he asked why, he was told he told the joke all right but
blew the punchline.  If we used numbers for the various MF arguments, we
could save a lot of FML space and lighten the load.
 
Person A: 1.  Person B (in rebuttal): 2. Person A and C: 3, 4, 5. Person B
and D: 2, 5, 7, 11. Person A: 30!! BIG: 00. Bob: They blew the punchline.
 
Of course, this is just my opinion and I may be wrong, but I doubt it.
 
Bob C and 20 MO 67, 51, 27.
[Posted in FML issue 2232]