I'm forwarding this with the original sender's permission.  It's actually
written about dogs, but so many of the examples apply to ferrets, too, that
I thought you all would find it funny ...
 
DOGGIE PLEDGE
 
I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.
 
I will not burn rubber through the open car window and into the fast food
restaurant, no matter how good it smells.
 
The computer's mouse is, unlike a real mouse, inedible.
 
I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of carpet in the house
when I am about to throw up.
 
I will not throw up in the car.
 
I will scootch my bottom along the grass to rid myself of hangers-on.
 
I will not steal used sanitary napkins from the bathroom garbage.
 
I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
 
I will not eat other animals' poop.
 
I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.
 
I will not roll my head around in other animals' poop.
 
"Kitty box crunchies" are not food.
 
I will not eat any more socks and then re-deposit them in the backyard
after processing.
 
The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
 
I will not eat the disposable diapers, especially the dirty ones.
 
I will not wake Mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose up her bottom end.
 
I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
 
I will not chew crayons or pens, 'specially not the red ones, or my people
will think I am hemorrhaging.
 
When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when
it's raining outside.
 
I will not drop soggy tennis balls in the underwear of someone who is
sitting on the toilet.
 
We do not have a doorbell.  I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.
 
I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard
with it.
 
The sofa is not a face towel.  Neither are Mom & Dad's laps.
 
My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
 
I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's
license and car registration.
 
I will not play tug-o'-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
 
I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the
coffee table.
 
I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
 
The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.
 
I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.
 
Rowland C. Croucher <[log in to unmask]> [aus.jokes]
[Posted in FML issue 2394]