5. The 2 legs eating?  Beg, beg, beg!  If that -- and looking adorable --
or pathetic and starving -- doesn't work, persist!  Be quick!  It is often
possible to snatch a mouthful and dive under something where you can either
eat it or stash it before the 2 legs can react.  Remember that the 2 legs
tend to set things down and are easily distracted.  So keep your nose to
the wind, and persist!  (No points here, the treat is the reward.)
 
6.  Litterboxes were made to be missed!  Go next to it, even hit it a few
times -- it helps keep the 2 legs on their toes.  Remember, a few near
misses make them hope for a hit.  Always poop in a doorway or dark hall.
their is always a chance that a 2 leg will step in it !  If they are
barefooted, its really neat, that's when they do their dance on one foot!
Can you imagine?  Now that's a sight to see.  ( 3 points for every second
they hop around.)  This is where they really start talking about the
"Sun-River-Bridge".  Personally, I think it is a vacation spot, or maybe a
resort.  My 2 leg talks about it a lot, especially after I've done some on
my best work!  Chuckle, chuckle, and a dance of my own ...It's goooood to
be bad.!
 
7. 2 legs drinking?  do not just smell..  place paws firmly on edge and
pull!  (It helps if you can get your head in their also.  This makes a real
nice mess ..er..puddle.)  Do not drink from the puddle, place your head in
the glass or cup and lick lick...
 
8. Bookshelves must be cleared.  Lay on your side, place your back against
the wall, and walk down the books pushing out ward as you go.  (notice the
nice plopping sound as the books hit the floor).  This is gravity and boy
does it work.  You will see how this will help you on other jobs.  Never
leave anything on a shelf or table!  there is nothing too big or too small,
gravity is our friend and it works on them all!  The bigger the object, the
more points you get, 5 extra points for each shelf cleared, more pieces
more points.  And oh that lovely crashing sound (sigh and shiver)
 
10. 2 legs sweeping the floor?  (for some reason this usually happens
after you have cleared a table.  Go figure!) Grab the broom Hold on!  Do
a dance in the middle of the dirt and slide baby slide the bigger the
spread pattern, the more the point value, remember artistic patterns are
encouraged.  (A big dook, dook, dook, and a chuckle or two!)
 
11. There is nothing to small or too large to steal.  the main thing is to
make it as hard as possible for the 2 legs to find.  Each day the 2 legs
search, add 5 points per object.  The larger the object, the more the
points.
[Posted in FML issue 2786]