Dooks all!!  I am happy to report - Helena very greedily, lapped up an
ENTIRE babyfood jar of my "concoction" last night.  When she was in
the dumps, she wasn't eating hardly anything.  Not only did she eat the
entire jar, when I set her down, to make sure her hammy was ready (I
warm it for her - don't laugh....) - she dashed off stole 3 bites of
cat food, and then took off with a huge kibble of dog chow.  Now THAT
is the Helena I know and love!!!!
 
But now I have another dilema.......and since you are all great at this
help me figure this one out.  My husband has a veerrrrrra loud snoring
problem.  Normally I can poke, nudge, kick - and slice him with my
fingernails in my sleep to shut him down.  Last night however, I could
not.  So - off I go - to the couch to try and shoot for an hour or so
of sleep.  Got nice and comfy.......and then I heard it..........
SSNNNNNNEEEERRRRRKKKKKKK....... SNooooorrrkkkkkkk.......
biddlebiddlebiddle....... sneerrkkk.....biddlebiddlebiddle.....
 
in a blind panic, I dash off the couch with my blankie (it was cold out
kids) to try and find the source of this horrible noise.  First I found
that I must trip over the two cats who decided that since I was on THEIR
couch, they would sleep on me - because I had THEIR blankie too - or so
they thought.  I noted that this odd noise was NOT coming from them,
unless you count the MEOWCH they gave me when I dumped them ceremoniously
on the floor.  They both chose this moment, to show their displeasure at
not only my stealing their sleeping spot - but for dumping their furry
butts on the floor, by stretching out their their furry little claws and
give my ankles a good rake....(my payment I suppose for dumping them) -
thereby causing me to fall down again - dangerously close to the dog.  He
made it through the first wave anyways.....
 
After picking myself up off the floor from tripping over them, I turned
to try and find the source of the Snerker......and stepped on the dog's
paw.  After he emitted a high pitched YEOWCH, he decided it was a good
time to help me out, by standing on the corner of the blanket, making it
impossible to move without falling down all over them, again.  As I was
finally able to extricate myself from the Animal Trap from Hades, it
got very quiet.....the snerk had stopped.........now, halfway awake, I
decided - ok - quiet - Kim sleep now!!!!  So I gently nudge the cats back
OFF the couch they have reclaimed, and laid back down.......just started
drifting off to sleep.....when.....
 
SNERK happened again......this time - I was ready.  I leap frogged over
all the animals in the way - and made my way to the ferret cage, the
source of the annoying Snerk sounds.  And there.  Lying on its back....
piled underneath two QUIETLY sleeping ferts - was Artemus.  Snoring.
Help me here.  Ferrets can snore?  Why me God?  Is this normal?  I have
NEVER heard my ferts snore......and he was just about as loud as my
husband!!!!
 
I finished the night off - in the top bunk of my 13 year old's room.  I
can't tell you what was worse, the snoring husband/ferts, or the smell
of my 13 year old sons feet...........
 
Happy Dookin!!
 
Kim and Her Army of Idiots.
 
Kimberly Gorman
IT/Telcom Analyst - CSSC
Gap, Inc.
[Posted in FML issue 5045]