Darn it all!
 
As I burrowed my nose all throughout my hidey-hole, I wondered if I
shouldn't get myself some real lenses for my glasses.  I had new arrivals
coming this afternoon, and I needed to keep track of them on my new
arrivals list.  I could find my list, but my pen was nowhere to be found.
I thought I had laid it on top of my list.  Maybe I *did* need real
lenses.  No matter.  I still had some time before I was to meet my new
arrival at the Bridge.
 
Yesterday was a banner day, a regal day if you will.  I had the honor of
greeting a beautiful little girl by the name of Princess Penelope.  She
was such a gentle little girl, just so proper; she was certainly the
essence of a princess, to be sure.
 
She was almost too proper.  When we sat down to her welcome feast, she
insisted upon eating only the proper fuzzy food.  It took us a long time
to convince her that she could have treats here in the Afterworld that
she wasn't allowed to have in the Hoomin world, treats like raisins and
chocolate and such.  When we finally did get her to try raisins, however,
she closed her eyes and ate them like they were fuzzy caviar!  After
that, we couldn't keep them away from her.
 
Later that day, I took her out to play with the other fuzzies.  Some of
the other fuzzies were practicing their war-dancing; still others were
dooking and digging in the dirt, looking for treasures; still others were
rough-housing with each other, playing a game of "Catch-Me-If-You-Can."
To play this game, one fuzzy would chase another fuzzy until they caught
them, then they would pin them down by biting their ear!  Oh, the fuzzies
would chatter and hiss when they were caught, but then they would go
running after their captors to prove that turnabout was fair play.
It was a rough sport, but almost all fuzzies loved to play this crazy
game!  Not Princess Penelope, however.  She wanted no part of this
rough-housing, this biting of ears.  She told me that her brother Abe
would try to play this game with her back in the Hoomin world, and she
would have no part of it there, either.  Princess Penelope certainly
worked hard to maintain her regal dignity.  I wondered if she ever did
anything just for fun.
 
Well all the same, today was another day and I had fuzzies to greet.  As
I made my way to the Bridge, word began to spread from fuzzy to fuzzy
that something mysterious was going on.  For some reason, pens were
disappearing all over the place.  Pens?  I thought about my own missing
pen.  This was odd.  We didn't have very many pens up here in the
Afterworld - no fuzzy had any real need of a pen, but the few that had
did them found that they had gone missing.  I had a pen which I used to
write my new arrivals list, but besides that, I had no real need of one
myself.  It didn't make sense that the pens we had up here would just
go missing.  Even the Boss was missing his very special pen!  This was
certainly a strange occurrence.
 
I met my new arrivals at the Bridge and got them settled in.  Next, I
made my rounds, checking on newly arrived fuzzies and bringing them
extra things they had requested.  I made my way to Princess Penelope's
hidey-hole.  She had requested an extra-soft blanket.  I should have
known that she would need a royally soft blanket.  I stomped my foot at
the entrance to her hidey-hole.  Up here at the Bridge, we have no doors
and therefore no doorbells, so we stomp our foot on the ground when we
want to say hello.
 
At first, Princess Penelope didn't answer.  I stomped again.  I listened
for a few seconds, then I heard her faintly say hello.  I told her that
I had her special blanket and would she like me to bring it down to her?
No answer.  Maybe she was busy with something else.  I waited a bit, and
then decided to bring her blanket down to her.  That's when I spotted
them...
 
Pens.  Hundreds of them!  Probably all the pens we had up here in the
Afterworld, it seemed.  They were everywhere - under tables, on top of
tables, stacked in her closet, scattered all over the floor, and even
under the kitchen sink!  Princess Penelope was sitting on her bed with a
pad of paper in her lap, and in her hand was the Boss' pen.  No!  Great
googley-moogley!
 
She looked at me sheepishly, but continued writing.  I asked her what
was she doing with all those pens, and what in particular was she doing
with the Boss' pen?  Was she trying to get herself in big trouble?  She
mumbled something about needing a pen to write with.  Well, she had one
now - straight from the Boss' desk!  As I questioned her she continued
writing.  I looked at the pad of paper in her lap.  Oh, no!  please tell
me that this isn't the Boss' pad of paper too!  She said that it, uh,
well... it might be.  Oh, for heaven's sake!  I pursed my lips, sighed,
and remained silent for a few moments.  Princess Penelope continued to
write.
 
After a moment or two I became curious.  I told her most fuzzies don't
know how to read or write - up here in the Afterworld it just wasn't
that necessary for fuzzies to learn how.  I asked her how she learned to
write.  She told me that she didn't know how to write, that she had tried
all the other pens but she couldn't figure out how to write with any of
them.  It was only when she used the Boss' pen that she somehow knew
how to read and write.  One could guess that the Boss' pen was special,
indeed.  I looked at the pad of paper.  Her handwriting was beautiful;
I had to say that for her.  All the while we talked, Princess Penelope
kept on writing.
 
I asked her what she needed to write so badly that she had to steal the
Boss' pen? She stopped writing and looked up at me, and I could see her
eyes starting to tear up. It all just seemed to rush out of her...
 
She told me that she missed her mommy and daddy very much, along with her
Aunt Tracy and her little brother Abe, and that she wanted to get hold
of them.  She told me that she wanted to tell her mommy how she missed
standing underneath her waterfall when they took a shower, and how she
learned that raisins were good to eat, and how she missed stealing socks,
and that she was so very glad her mommy and daddy rescued her from that
small cage she had lived in for two years.
 
But most of all, she wanted to tell her brother Abe that she was safe up
here at the Bridge.  She told me that she didn't think Abe would know
where she had gone and would be worried sick about her.  She wanted him
to know that she was alright, and hoped that he would find a way to not
be so lonely without her, and that she missed him terribly and worried
about him even more, and that the only way she could think of to tell
everyone what she was feeling was to write them a letter.  Her words
rushed out of her so quickly that she barely caught her breath.
Afterwards, she sat quietly on her bed.
 
Ah, it all made sense now.  I asked Princess Penelope to give me her
letter and the Boss' pen.  Tears still in her eyes, she asked me if I
could get the letter out to her family in the Hoomin world.  I told
her that I thought I could, but I was going to have to do some fancy
explaining to the Boss about where his pen had gone.  Then I told her
that she was going to have to return all those pens to their rightful
owners.  She looked down and nodded.  I wished her luck, and then I
turned my head so she wouldn't see me trying not to giggle.
 
Letter in hand, I headed off to see the Boss, trying the whole time to
think up a good story to tell him.  But when I got there he let me know
that he already about his pen.  Well, that figures.  He always knows.
I handed him Princess Penelope's letter and asked him if it might be
possible to get this letter to her hoomin family, but before the words
had finished coming out of my mouth the letter had vanished.  I hoped he
wouldn't be too hard on her.  The Boss just smiled and told me that he
would take care of things.  One wonders why one even talks to the Boss,
sometimes...
 
After that, Princess Penelope learned to like it better up here in the
Afterworld.  She learned how to play "Catch-Me-If-You-Can" with the other
fuzzies and became a proficient ear-nipper.  She even learned she could
have fun digging in the dirt and still be a princess - provided that she
could have her own private waterfall in which to wash herself clean.  Oh
yes, she was still a princess alright.
 
Things went fine for Princess Penelope from that point on, although I do
remember that not too long afterwards most of our socks seemed to go
missing.  Do you think?..  Nah, it couldn't be.
 
Sandee
[Posted in FML issue 5144]