Hi Everyone..
 
Today Frosty, the ferret that was 'rescued' [bought out] of a pet store
because at 6 months and nearly 4 lbs he couldn't even move in the birdcage
he was housed in and was 'an incorrigible biter that could not even be held!
 
Well, some decent food and free roam in the ferret area [most of the house
with the kitchen as the exception for safety reasons] and some other kits
to play with and within a day the only left over from this vicious pet
store fur terror was a delightful, happy, and joy filled fuzzy..  He has
always run first and asked questions afterward because he is terrified of
being stuffed back in that wretched bird cage again..  I think thats
understandable.  Soooo..  today was Frostys turn for 'going on a Nature
Hike with Mommie to get the mail'.  He didn't mind the harness and being
carted down the road until..  [well..  his voice is a little high pitched
and sorta frantic but maybe I'd best let him tell you about the adventure..
hmmm?]
 
'IT WAS HORRIBLE!!!' [Frosty..dear..  please try to be a little less of a
squeaky Soprano or no one will be able to understand you..OK?] 'I'll try,
Mommie.' 'Mommie put the strap thingy on me on my neck and tummy with the
long leash thingy on it..  but that was OK cause we have practiced a lot
with in the house for a long time already with the other fuzzys.' But then
we went OUTSIDE!' It was windy..  and I got cold..  I know I got a very
thick coat of fur and all but it was COLD.  I crawled inside the flannel
vest thingy and peeked out..  and before I knew it we got attacked!  this
horrible threatening creature came running out of the woods and almost got
us!!  I saw it..  Mommie stopped and watched it..  I just know she was
getting ready to run..  it may have been sorta small but it was vicious I
tell you..  it had a long bushy tail and was brown and ran on all four paws
but it has a Pine Coney thingy in its mouth and the most awful beady eyes
you ever saw..  Mommie tried to make me feel better and stop shaking by
telling me it was a cute little Squirrel..  but I know she was shaking like
me..  her tummy kept wiggling and she kept choking out 'hahahehe' alla
time.'
 
'Right after that another near miss happened!'  A flying thing went right
past us..Oh it was small and brown, but I saw that razor sharp beak and
those wicked eyes..  and Mommie saying it was a cute little birdie made no
sense at all.  There were a bunch of them, they must hunt in packs or
something cause the were swooping and making a terrible racket..  to flush
out some poor terrified ferret I bet... Well we made it to the mail box
thingy and Mommie opened it with the key thingy, see I told you its
dangerous out there..  stuff here even kills poor innocent mail so they
gotta lock it up to keep it safe!.'
 
We started back and the air was moving so fast I had to hide my ears cause
they were going to blow right off.  And right before we got home, we dodged
all those very dangerous critters again all the way home, and right before
we got back to the safe house place this huge feathered assassin almost
slaughtered us..  Then there was a whole huge bunch of them..  all around
us..  and I was froze cause of the darn wind and scared already and now we
couldn't get home!' 'It was just horrible!!!' I'm not sure how Mommie got
through them cause I stuffed my head back inside the flannel thingy and
tried to be reeaaaal small.'
 
I was never so happy in my life than when we got back in the house.  Gosh,
wind trying to tear off your fur [Mommie said it was a nice sunny day with a
mild breeze but you can't fool me!, I not a dumb fuzzy!], and try to get
your ears too, and wild animals that swoop and charge all over the place and
then those feathered gangsters [Mommie says they are cute little Bantam
Chickens, but I know we barely made it into the house alive, I was there...
well, sorta, I was keeping my head down .. along with the rest of me] right
on our doorstep!'
 
'If I want wind I'll lay on the floor vent for the heater, more comfy.' If I
want nature I'll look through the windows like any intelligent ferret would
do.' I don't EVER EVER want to go back out side.  It's horrible and
dangerous and besides it's BIG!  Me for a nice warm drawer in Mommies 'Puter
desk!'
 
'Oh, yuk... My paws are dirty from Mommie putting me down for a while on
some nice soft dirt and grass..  Why do humans do stuff like that?... ICK,
now I have to get it offa my feets..  This is uncivilized!  Disgusting!  No
more walks for me..nope..  never!!!  Never Never Never!!!'
 
Well, Everyone..  there you have it..  Frosty's personal view of a walk to
the mailbox..  I am afraid it was not a smash hit... Actually I am fairly
certain the very mention of a walk in the future will land him on a ferret
shrinks couch for life..  Poor kid..  out of the bird cage and into the
Nature Walk seems to have been one leap too far.  :)
 
Happy Fuzzys
dayna and the woozles of the MMOMM rescue/shelter
[Posted in FML issue 2227]