Shhh . . . NO, I wanna write it! . . . No, my turn to use the pooter!
 
brief scuffle.
 
It's me, Harley . . . I won computer rights by sheer size and strength
of personality (although I must confess Bates is no pushover and Mysty
can drive me to distraction) I was not going to let them tell this
story . . . nosiree!
 
Today mama came in the ferret room to do some nail clipping because we're
all going to see Dr. Wagner tomorrow and she wanted us to look our best.
She had clippers (horrors!) in one hand and ferretvite (yummy!) in her
other hand.  We all came out and converged on her, fighting for first
dibs.
 
Trimmings were successfully accomplished w/ enough squirming to get a
second helping of the good stuff.  I think we went through 1/3 of the
tube amongst the 10 of us before we as a group were done w/ our
pedicures.
 
Then mama pulled out the drawer in the hoosier where we usually catch
some zzzzzzz's and put in fresh bedding.  "Thanks mama!"  She opened the
other drawer . . .  and we began to watch intently from various spots of
the room all the while "innocently" licking ferretvite off our tummies.
Mama noticed that an old ferret calendar looked a little damaged and she
pulled it out to check on it.  Yup, a little dirty.  Kinda had foot
prints on it (I wonder if our paw prints are as distinctive as human
ones? . . .  anyway, I digress).  She muttered something and started
pulling stuff out of the drawer in the section where the calendar was.
She muttered something in a puzzled tone.  "No poop, no pee back there."
So she then looked straight down and said, "What is my fabric binding
doing all balled up in there . . . ewwwwwww" At which point we all
started rolling in silent laughter as pulled out her hand, covered w/
poopie!
 
She yelled at us . . . oh joy!  A new game!  Bounce around while mama
frantically grabs for the paper towels and plastic bags.  You know the
sound of plastic bags is heaven sent, right?  Well, here we were in the
company of our mama saying much more than usual in a tone totally alien
w/ the words "you little s----, you!" replacing her syruppy praise.
All the while the plastic bag bounced as she scooped poop out of our
self-appointed bathroom.  I mean really, cozy bedroom w/ a bath off to
the side, w/ a big living room and I tiny loft, right?  Perfect
apartment, right?  Why should we leave it to use other facilities?
 
Was she heading for the door?  Yup!  Bates, Mysty, Whisper and I made
a dash for it.  Bates and I made it out!  Fun, fun, fun!  Then outta
nowhere this wierd furry sister of ours comes and convinces us that
allowing mama to pick us up was the best alternative.  Curses, foiled
again.  Most of the time I really like my sister because she's so much
fun, but I hate it when she starts to herd us . . .  especially when
mama praiser her for doing it.  Grumble . . . grumble . . .
 
Mama sneaked back in w/ a bucket . . .  What's this?  Our water has
bubbles in it?  Yahoo!  Playtime!  I noticed Whisper was there trying to
reach the bubbles.  I figured that they must have been different from the
ones she'd fallen in so I pursued them w/ alacrity.  Mama was cussing us
and pulling us out of the bucket.  I have to say I was very impressed w/
Mysty's technique.  She was hanging into the bucket draped neatly over
the edge w/ her dainty butt and fluffy tail sticking out--feet braced on
the side of the bucket.  Mysty was telling us between licks that Dawn
dishwashing bubbles were absolutely the best.  Mama said "No, not a good
thing, cut it out!" and no sooner would she pull two of us away than the
others would converge.  Boy, was she wound up!
 
Why was she using that tone again?  Hmmm.  See stuff being pulled from
the latrine and being thrown away . . . what?!  She took our deck of
cards!  How COULD she?  So what if they were stained?  They were
perfectly good and I had them all marked so I could win.  Not fair, not
fair, not fair.
 
New game!  I liked it and didn't want it to stop.  Mama was saying things
about the water in the bucket not being bath water, it was scrubbing
water.  In went a piece of cloth, out came the cloth and into our
latrine.  Oh, good!  It was getting a little full and a little too ripe
in there . . . isn't it nice for her to clean our bathroom?
 
Suddenly that water didn't look so appetizing so our visits to play and
lick bubbles ended.  We lined up on the big pillows, jumping and rolling
in excitement.  What a great mama to clean our apartment for us!
 
What's this?  she put in a bag of stones that are supposed to be a
deodorizer?  Hey!  Now we'll have to find a new space to use as a
bathroom in our apartment.  Don't worry we'll find the perfect place so
that mama can once more say "Ewwwwwww"
 
Your proud friend of FLO, Harley, for his sissies and brudders,
Shiloh, Ozzie, Whisper, Star, Cocoa, Toula, Mysty, Bates, and Quesey
[Posted in FML issue 4245]