To the Anonymous College Kid that posted regarding concealing two ferrets
in the Dorm:
 
We have done a super-computer analyse of your most recent post to the FML
and have been able to determine many identifying facts:
 
   #1) You ARE a male.  We determined this from your mention of girls
       smiling when they see your "illegal" ferrets.  On second thought,
       maybe we can only assume you are male.  We may have to reprogram
       our probabilty analysis algorithm for this identifying trait.  ;-)
 
   #2) You are a college student.  Clearly stated in your post.
       No further explaination needed.
 
   #3) You live in a dorm.  Again, clearly stated in your post. On second
       thought, as I look around here, this apartment isn't much
       different than some of the dorms I've lived in.  This part of the
       identity algorithm may also need some work.
 
There is much more we have been able to determine from your "Anonymous"
posting, however, in the interest of National (& univesity) security, we
are unable to disclose that information at this time.  Any requests made
under the Freedom of Information Act regarding this case can expect
disclosures with lots & lots of black, blanked-out space.
 
But you WILL be found, you dangerous friend, er....ah, fiend.  We have
secret operatives in place everywhere.  And the next time someone gives your
ferts a look of "disgust", shudder and cringe at the thought that they may
be one of us.............the FDI.
[Posted in FML issue 1501]