I have to hand it to you BIG.  One of the nicest slaps on the wrist I have
ever had.  But you are right, I will refrain from political jokes from now
on.  Sorry.  But BIG is right; for the last few weeks (when not out of town)
I've been monitoring alt.pets.ferrets, and my, my, what a difference.  If I
ever read another cross-posted reference to hedgehogs or PETA again...  For
those of you who don't know, I counted 78 messages today; only 7 related to
ferrets.  You do a good job, BIG.
 
I discovered a new "toy" at the pet shop yesterday, one my ferts go nuts
about.  Its designed for training hunting dogs (so may not be available in
all areas).  All it is are different training scents in a bottle, such as
"raccoon," "deer," "duck," and others.  I bought "raccoon" and "deer",
applied some to an old sock, and dragged it around the house.  I soon had 13
sleeping beasties wide awake, and following the scent.  I also dripped a
drop into some plastic Christmas balls converted into "Treat Machines" (cut
off the post, drop a raisin or piece of jerky inside, and let them figure
out how to get it out), and rolled them on the floor.  It soon looked like
one of those documentary clips from the late 50's where scads of people were
pushing around a giant ball.  Ferret Football!
 
Another thing I found was at the hardware store.  It was 100 ft of black
plastic sewer pipe, about the same diameter of dryer tube, and perforated
for drainage (about $24).  I left it coiled, with the top opening leading
out to our front window bench.  They run in the bottom, and the whole thing
shakes as they run 15 or 20 loops, then come out the top.  They often pause
at each quarter-sized opening to see what they can see, then off again.
Whats really a blast is to get a fert riled up, then roll a plastic golf
ball down from the top.  Nosette and Balistic go wild over it, and will
carry the ball to me to roll it down again.  Whats even funnier is for the
ball to stop against Bear, who likes to lounge in the tube, and see him
shoot out the bottom with Balistic behind.
 
As for the plastic golf ball, its the whiffle type with holes.  I cut a gap
between two or three holes, and insert a jinglebell.  The plastic pops back,
securing the bell inside.  It rolls, it's white so it can be easily seen,
makes noise, has holes so it so can be picked up by the fert, and is very
very cheap.  I usually spray colone or some other scent (liquid smoke is
good, or even ferrettone) inside the ball to make it more sensory
interesting.
 
Finally, a funny story.  Vegetarians should not read the following.  A
couple of days ago, it was quite warm, so as a born-Californian I was
required by law to pull out the barbeque (We call it a Bob-be-que).  I fired
it up, and started a rack-o-ribs, mushrooms, and some corn.  I ain't exactly
bashful with the sauce; we just go outside and hose down after eating them.
Takes me about an hour and a half to get them right, but as I said--its the
law; I have no choice.
 
So I finished the required project, set the ribs on the table and wandered
into the kitchen to make salad and lemonade.  Half way through, I heard a
loud scream, and ran to the table to see what was going on.  My daughter
Elizabeth was pointing to the table at the ribs.  Inside, rolling and
rubbing his head in the sauce, was Gus.  He was covered from head to foot
with thick and sticky barbeque sauce, and footprints were all over the table
and floor.  An outdoor guide was not needed to follow this trail to our
futon sofa, where Daye was pretending not to notice our interest in her
appearance.  Of course, the red sauce all over her and the couch gave her
guilt away.  I thought briefly of going ahead and throwing her and Gus on
the grill since she already had a good covering of barbeque sauce, but
thought better of it because the fur can get stuck in your teeth.
 
Needless to say, the futon cover went to the dry cleaners, the ferrets in
the bath, and the ribs had to be cleaned and re-sauced.  Later, during
supper, I snuck a piece of dental floss into my mouth, then slowly pulled it
out, claiming it was ferret hair.  The kids were not amused.
 
Bob and the 13 Barbeque Beasties
[Posted in FML issue 1531]