My Dearest Bonnie,
 
i was browzing the FML after i had ousted my mum & dad from the puter
thing coz they is capitalist infidels.  my whiskerz started to twitch
coz i woz readin about a beautiful chicotita called Bonnie.
 
i wanna be your boyfriend.  i luv you long time pretty lady.  i is a
albino boy wiv big teef for biting toes and ankles and knees if i jump.
i is really big and strong and like to write to little ferret girls dat
like to write to me.
 
you can sue your mum & dad, coz they is not givin you raisons, but
pro-active responses work da best.  you stop using your litter tray, you
dont let dem bath you, you bite dem and scratch dem and make lots of
noise, and go where they dont want you and you pee in da shoes and poo in
da pockets and you hide when dey call you and they get worried and den
they get scared and then they go mad in da head and then you take over da
house and then you is da boss and then they is the pets and den they do
wot you is tellin dem and den we both take over the world, me and you baby
girl ha ha ha ha ha (menacingly).  me and you cheeky chops we can do it
you know.
 
this is the start of the new world.
 
take a stand my furred fiends.
 
viva la revalution
 
Che guaverolo.
[Posted in FML issue 3719]