Dear Ferret Folks-

I think that what Rita B tried to say yesterday in response to "what's
the craziest thing you ever bought for your ferrets?" actually has a
very simple answer. It's a house. Yes, a house. My husband and I took
out a thirty year loan with Clinton Savings Bank for our biggest and
best ferret toy. A four room ranch nestled quietly in the woods of
central Massachusetts, just a hop, skip, and a jump away from the New
Hampshire border.

The combined Living Room and Kitchen area makes for one huge open
space, ripe with opportunities for scrambling up furniture and trying
to dive into the open refrigerator when the door is open. Ping is He
has already spent more time *inside* the refrigerator than he had ever
bargained on, but he can tell you truthfully that while dark inside it
is full of food. *People* food. We stock it often, much to his delight.
One of his favourite features is the big raised island between Living
Room and Kitchen spaces. This allows him to run up the dog's green
velvety armchair and right onto the countertop where I process the
People Food. He enjoys hanging out right next to the cutting board and
stealing scraps. Sliced bell peppers are a favourite. The cat's food is
also up there for his dining pleasure, and the fifty five gallon fish
tank, just in case he wants to go swimming after his meal. It was
thoughtful of us to provide him with these recreational opportunities,
wasn't it? OH! Mustn't forget France, the Hedgehog's little enclosure.
Walking on France while she is snuggled into her quilt bag is always
diverting. She hisses, pops, shakes, and bucks in the most intrigung
fashion! And then of course, her food can be eaten! Ditto the dog's.
It's a twenty four hour buffet. Las Vegas has nothing on the dining
opportunities here!

Because the house is on one level, Puma especially enjoys the
possibility of darting through the two exterior doors, no more than a
thirty second ferret scamper from one another. Yes, she has endless
fun with the doors, she only wishes there were more, although she did
experiment with crawling out windows last summer. Puma is looking
forward to a planned upgrade this summer, more and larger windows. Both
Ping and Puma have on several occasions escaped from the exterior doors
and gone exploring *underneath* the house. Yes, underneath! Isn't that
cool? This is one of the features of our house that the ferrets find
particularly enjoyable, there is a dank, swampy crawlspace beneath the
house for them to explore. Those hoomins thought of everything! The
sight of hoomins down on their hands and knees at the edge of the
house, squeaky toy in hand trying to coax ferrets to them? PRICELESS!
Oh, especially at night! It's just such a shame that the hoomins caught
on, and this doesn't happen any more. But you never know.....Vigilance
is the key!

Yes, we hoomins are *excellent* weasel architects. From the clean towel
storage shelves (superior sleeping spots!) to the tipping wastebasket
in the Bathroom, every room has something in it with high ferret
appeal. The Computer Room comes with its *very own* ferret sofa,
awesome for afternoon naps. Nothing, but nothing is as funny as when
the hoomins try unfolding it for a house guest to sleep on, and a
turkey thigh bone falls out! And of course there are the closets,
exciting repositories of unknown and endlessly diverting objects that
can be climbed upon and dis-assembled, piece by piece, and dragged
beneath the Computer Room sofa. A closet is an awesome cardio workout.
Imagine, all the features of a really good gym, and never having to
leave the comfort of your own home!

The black plastic tubes that run along the Living Room cieling are an
outstanding feature for climbing and running at all hours of the day
and night, but they *pale* in comparison to the Forbidden Hoomin
Bedroom, and the Holy Grail of the Hoomin Bedroom, the water glass left
carelessly beside the bed on the night table. Hit it juuust right, and
it will soak the Hoomin hammy mattress!

Yes, Ping and Puma will tell you that thirty years of their Hoomin's
lives to pay for this Deluxe Weasel Theme Park is not too great a
sacrifice. No, not at all.

Alexandra in MA

[Posted in FML 5579]