FERRET-SEARCH Archives

Searchable FML archives

FERRET-SEARCH@LISTSERV.FERRETMAILINGLIST.ORG

Options: Use Forum View

Use Monospaced Font
Show Text Part by Default
Show All Mail Headers

Message: [<< First] [< Prev] [Next >] [Last >>]
Topic: [<< First] [< Prev] [Next >] [Last >>]
Author: [<< First] [< Prev] [Next >] [Last >>]

Print Reply
Subject:
From:
Larry McFarlane <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Wed, 5 Jan 2000 20:31:58 -0500
Content-Type:
text/plain
Parts/Attachments:
text/plain (47 lines)
Dooks to all.  My sincere condolences to all who've lost their fuzzy
babies.
 
I have to tell this story.  I had the week of Christmas off from work, and
after giving the fuzzbutts a hard time, I remembered that when Alix &
Bailey came to live with us they had leashes and harnesses.  Now, as tiny
as these two are, I never figured out how they fit into these.  Well, I had
the bright idea to put Mookie into a harness, put him on leash and teach
him to walk.  I was going to get a pair of "ferret antlers" and take him
to work.
 
I've leash broken many a dog and figured heck, ferret can't be that bad.
Yeah, right!  I get the Mook man pinned to the bed and start to put the
harness on him.  That's when he collapsed all the bones in his body.  I
took him downstairs to have Larry help me and by that time the little
sucker had slid through the harness-had it caught around his hips!  Well,
I almost panicked, told Larry to cut it off him.  While Larry was getting
the scissors Mookie collapsed the rest of his bones and slid on through!
Seeing the futility of this with Mookie I trapped Calvin!  HAH!  Got him
into the harness without him becoming the rubber ferret, got the leash on
him.  Do you realize how many revolutions a ferret makes when they have
something like this on them for the first time?  He was an actual blur of
fur spinning on the floor.  Got him calmed down, took it off and put it all
up.  The heck with this!  And Alix-when she's in the 'dead ferret sleep'
she's totally boneless.  It's hilarious to pick her up-kind of like trying
to hold water in your hands.
 
All right-voices for my critters.  Had to enlist the kid's help on this
one.  Socks would have to be Sean Connery-mature, commanding, aging well.
Kit has to be Katherine Hepburn, all class with a touch of silliness at
times.  Genie-Catherine Zeta Jones-very commanding presence.  Scully, she
has to be Dixie Carter-sass and flash.  Suzy Derkins-Cate Blanchet-cinnamon
hair, regal.  Calvin has got to have Robin Williams' voice-Mr. Silly
himself.  Mookie, ah this is easy---Arnold!  Conan would be Gerard
Depardieu, especially as he was in "The Man in the Iron Mask"!  Alix has be
Lauren Bacall-class with an aura of elegant sophistication, Bailey would be
Sandra Bullock, Fang has to be Candace Bergen, and Nibbles definitely has
to have Greta Garbo's voice.  Chewie the ginger cat would have Damon Wayans
voice, Sarabi would have Nicole Kidman's, and Tigger would have James Earl
Jones'.  So, this is my all star, stellar crew of voices for my fuzzy kids.
Now all I have to do is think of a movie they could all be in!
 
Rebecca & the Crew of Merry Mayhem
"Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crunchy and taste
good with ketchup"
[Posted in FML issue 2920]

ATOM RSS1 RSS2