[Moderator's note: Kat is posting mail she received along with her reply.
The sender of the mail to Kat has given permission for it to appear on
the FML as long as the email address does not appear. BIG]
Dear Kat,
Thank you for replying to my post about ADV. I was able to see White
Russian's page via the link you sent. What a beautiful ferret White
Russian is. How sad that this disease is hurting our beautiful friends.
I also accessed a link from the fml, and read a vet's description of the
disease. I hope my ferrets don't ever get sick with this. I have two.
Bitey, the fierce biter that I got for the bargain price of $25 from a
pet shop that kept him on wood shavings in a 20 gallon aquarium. He is
reformed, and almost never bites me now, but still cannot be trusted with
others. Baby, who stole my heart (I confess, at Petco) is a panda blaze,
stone deaf, and adorable. I had seven ferrets just over a year ago, and
unsubscribed from the FML after being flamed mercillessly for giving them
away.
Two of the ferrets I had were sick with cancers, one with insulinoma, and
one with the other common ferret cancer (I cannot remember the name).
One had chronic diarreah. I was about to embark on a new career (law
enforcement) which would turn my life as I knew it upside down. I had
managed apartments for 10 years, and was accustomed to working out of my
apartment. The career change would necessitate a move, and I was living in
poverty, so my odds of finding a place that would allow me to have seven
ferrets was slim. I was contemplating moving into a townhome with my
then-boyfriend, whose townhome association would allow only two pets (dogs
or cats), and ferrets were questionable.
I posted to the fml, trying to find homes for the seven. I got flamed
pretty bad. On top of that the lady I know who runs the local shelter was
furious with me too. Two of the ferrets I had were long-term foster kids.
One was adopted from the shelter. I had mentioned that I considered having
the sick ones euthanized. I guess that is what brought it on. It comes
down to that basic human debate regarding euthansia, and a person's opinon
on life, and dying. I happen to have a view of these things that was not
popular with the ferret community, or the shelter operator.
I believe that all life, plant, animal, human, is the same spirit, the same
substance, and that it all becomes one when released by death. I believe
that this same spirit, substance is God. I believe that none of this
precious life energy is ever wasted, but constantly recycled. Because
of my belief, I do not see anything wrong with having a sick ferret
euthanized, if one cannot afford surgery. I would not mind my life ending
in the same manner if I were living with a chronic disease. I have seen
the shelter ferrets sometimes recuperating, sometimes dying after "life
saving" surgeries, and their sad wasting bodies, and faces, fill me with
pain for the pain and confusion they experience. After discussing my
dilemma the shelter operator was disgusted with me. She judged me based
on her own belief system. I had visited her to drop off the ferret with
chronic diarreah, because she said she knew someone who was a vet, who was
willing to try to help him.
I was working on finding homes for the other six ferrets when I got a phone
call from some people I knew through the shelter. The shelter operator
sent them over, they arrived as if they were on a mission. Within two
hours of their call, all my ferrets were gone. I knew they were in good
hands, so I let those people take them. Nobody ever replied to my
inquiries about how they were doing. When I got mad and wrote angry ( I
must admit insulting) e-mail to them, they totally blew me off. I sent a
$500 dollar donation to the shelter recently.
I vowed never to allow ferrets to break my heart again. I missed my seven
so badly. I got my new job, moved, and got a new place last January. Last
May I brought home the bad biter, and a month or two later, the baby. I
still think of the seven. I hope they are happy. I feel terrible about
letting them go. It breaks my heart to think of them, and how much they
must have been hurt by not having me to love them anymore.
I couldn't afford the vet care the sick ones needed. I could barely afford
the meds they took. I could barely feed my human kids, especially after
feeding the ferrets. I guess it was wrong, but the ferret food came first.
What a sad story. I don't even know why I'm telling you this, except that
the story needs to be told. I only started writing to thank you for
replying to my question about ADV.
*****************************
my reply ...
*****************************
first...thank you for trusting me with this information...this story of
heartbreak and dilemma...
i can't say i believe in your beliefs...i believe each creature should have
a chance at a full life...given every chance possible to survive till God
calls him...BUT different beliefs and views of life is what makes the world
go around...i can not say my way is the only right way, just as i can not
say yours is wrong...we are each entitled to our own life beliefs...and
should respect the right of others to believe differently...
you did what you thought you had to do for the ferrets in the circumstances
you were in...yes..it hurt the ferrets, no doubt, but you did what you felt
you had to do...what you thought was right at the time...that is called
LIFE...
let me equate this with a small part of MY life...if i may...
when i was 23, circumstances led me to attempt suicide...i spent 3 months
in a psychiatric hospital, then home to my husband and kids again...a few
months later things got back to the point of considering suicide again...
i sat up!!.. and said to myself..."what the f*** you think you're doing,
Lady???"... so i left my husband [NOBODY is worth that!] ...unemployed ...
homeless...i took the kids, an almost 3 yr old daughter, an almost 1 yr.
old son, to my mom...
things came out that my mom raised my daughter, and i gave up my son to
his father to raise. i knew i could not even take care of one child, let
alone 2...and i thought his father already had another woman to be billy's
mother...i stayed out of my son's life for 16 years...i did not want him to
feel the anger and bad feelings between his father and me..and i did not
want him torn apart emotionally between us as my daughter was between her
father and me...[as it turned out, i was wrong...billy had a miserable life
for quite a while]...but i did what i thought was best at the time... that
is all any of us can do...
many will/might have believed that i was a horrible mother...how could i
give up my kids?...i did what i HAD to do to give them the best life i
thought they could have at the time...out of love... that is all any of
us can do... it may not turn out the way we thought it would...but it was
the right decision for us at the time...
i can see where you got a lot of angry messages and condemnation for your
actions...it WOULD bring that result...and it would bring it every time...
i remember this in the FML...i remember being angry...i remember thinking
'what an irresponsible reason to give up your ferrets'...but that is
experience talking...i have SEEN a ferret die [in my care] from being
seperated from the only mom he ever knew...i have seen the ferrets in the
shelters, dumped for trivial reasons...i have given up things precious to
me for a man...it never worked..and i had lost something unnecessarily...
that was INexperience...it would never happen now...
but in defense of shelter operators..they see this way too often...
sometimes reasons are valid, sometimes not...but after a while, all reasons
are the same...and most all shelters are overcrowded and under-helped...be
it financial or physical help...and not enough people are going to shelters
to adopt...they get more and more in...and less and less go out...
please don't feel to harshly towards the shelter who took your ferrets...
it was just one more straw on the proverbial camel's back...and they have
to deal with it day in and day out...
i am so sorry for what you went thru...you did the right thing posting
to the fml for homes for them, [except for the shelter ones..they, by
contract, were supposed to go back to the shelter, i believe all shelters
have that policy...] but we handled it badly...we should have tried to
either help you find a way to keep them, or aided you in finding homes for
them...instead, we turned on you...SHAME ON US!!...i do not remember if i
got involved in that...i do know that if i did, it was probably negative
because of my feelings about giving up loved things for a b/f...been thru
that too many times...so i apologize for the way i felt then...i should
have tried to help you...i am sorry for that...
xxxx, i would like to post this..your letter to me [minus your name and
e-mail] and my response to you, either on my home page..or preferably to
the fml...maybe i can make people see that helping is a much better way
of dealing with circumstances like this than hurting and flaming someone
that has a different view than they/you do...
i know i will prolly make some enemies...and i will not like that
part...but i am ashamed of the way we treated you...please, forgive me?
HUGS!!!...i hope your life is now how you want it...i wish i knew the
outcome of your ferrets, i would give you the news you want, but i don't
have any idea...i know you will miss them for a long time...that is the
nature of the little guys...again, i am sorry...
kat
=====
KITY=^..^=KAT... ( a.k.a. ...FuzzieMom ) and the krew...
Rascal, Sassy, Wolfie, Monkey(Shine), Meeja, Narmy, PopPye, Noodles,
Sandi-Mandi, Hope-HollyHeart, Edison!, Lucky, Princess Cissy, and Uh-Oh!!!!
Missing pieces of my heart...Marcel, LittleWhiteGirl, OldGuy,
and the biggest piece of my heart, Charlie!
The Ferrets' Pages... http://www.geocities.com/ferretlover97
[Posted in FML issue 3214]
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