In amongst the responses I've got from the fellow ferret-lovers here in the
FML about my missing baby... I've also had some responses that I feel need
addressing.  I will not post them publicly, send/forward these responses
on, nor will I name who sent them... however their *content* needs to be
addressed.
 
When someone loses an animal, whether through escape, such as Podo,
potential theft, or through death, that person is, a majority of the time,
feeling not only grief but also a measure of guilt.  A majority of times,
this guilt is merely an expression of their grief, not a rational thing.
In my case, someone had the potential to step inside my front door, get the
key to the ferrets cage, and unlock the door.  In other cases, a ferret may
have had a blockage, or even disease, or could have just rushed through a
previously unknown escape route.
 
This is NOT something to capitalise on and blame the person for!  The
person who is posting is already mad at themselves for what they feel is
their fault.  They already feel bad, they already know they screwed up...
they DON'T need someone shoving self- righteous rubbish down their throats
and making them feel worse!
 
Case in point, early this year someone wrote in to the FML, having only
just joined, expressing that they loved their ferret, wanted to do the very
best for him, that he was due to see the vet early the next morning because
he wasn't acting right... and mentioned in passing that they fed him a
cheap, grocery-bought cat food for the ferret.  Instead of offering
suggestions to help the ferret, instead of just saying "well, we feel it
may be a good idea to feed Totally Ferret, Iams Kitten, or similar" people
wrote to these people saying that she should not keep ferrets, they were
evil for feeding their ferrets this food, and that they should never own
animals, let alone ferrets.  Is this rational, sane thought?  Is this a
post that will make this person change the way of dealing with their
ferret?  No, it's a post that will turn them off the FML and all it's
associated good points forever.  Unfortunately, that person lost her ferret
early the next morning on the way to the vet.  This was not their fault,
and their grief was made all the worse by that they had received mail the
night before saying that they were the ones who'd done it.  Luckily, these
people were convinced to stay with the FMl, they have rediscovered the joys
of ferret ownership, and they are now feeding what their ferrets need.
 
If anyone wants to respond to a person who has recently lost a ferret, dog,
cat, family member.... please, before you write... think how you would feel
if it was you in their situation.  They may well need advice, but do it in
a way that helps them and the animal, not in a way purely designed to hurt,
and cut... If you are truly interested in the ferrets welfare, as I know
you are... then educate them, don't blame them.  No-one ever knows the true
circumstances behind any decision another person may make, particularly
other people on the 'net.  We're all different, we all have different
circumstances, and we all love our ferrets.  If we didn't, we wouldn't be
here.
 
Hugs to the furbabies.
 
Sam
[Posted in FML issue 2500]