I have a conflict of understanding....maybe if I tell you about it,
you can help me understand......

Everyone has heard of Ham and Cheese, also known as Hamilton
Theodore(teddy)Ritenour and Charles Xavier Cheesepuff. They are the
squirrely duo famous for the traveling trash bag, and gator alley.

I don't buy bottled water very often, as I do not like the idea of
furthering plastic consumption and therefore, oil, but I had bought a
couple gallons for during hurricane season last year, and a case of
small bottles. This is necessary for that time of year in case we get
flooding, Mom is all about preparedness. One gallon eventually got
taken to a sports event, the other sat in the kitchen, minding it's
own business for quite some time without anyone paying it so much as a
sideways glance. One day, I came into the kitchen just in time to see
that Cheese was jumping up, attacking the top of the bottle repeatedly,
while his cohort in crime, Ham waited patiently for the outcome.
(Sometimes I think its Ham who gets the ideas and gets everyone else
to implement them...they get in trouble, he is laughing... I just know
it.... he does this with Chepe' too. I've seen him watching as she gets
into things! He waits below the desk to cart off spoils she has knocked
down for him!) but.... back to the story...

I dont think any thing of it, as I do not think for a moment he could
ever get the cap off. i call Brent to see what his weasel is doing, and
as Brent is coming up the hall, maybe it was adrenalin from knowing
someone was coming quickly, I don't know, but Cheese takes one more
lunge at the bottle, grabs the cap just right, gives a twist of his
head, and Pop! the cap comes off! I couldn't believe it!! He drops
the cap, but quickly grabs it again and he and his buddy bolt down
the hall, Ham Flying squirrelling Brent who hasn't quite made it to
the kitchen, and to the living room where I later retrieve it from
the stash. I was stunned that he got the lid off. the bottle had never
been opened, so it couldn't have been loose, and why all of a sudden
did they take an interest in the bottle that had sat there no less than
three months? Stinkers....I ended up using the water for my plants, as
I am sure that they would next come back to tip over the jug. I don't
mind ferret lips in my water, but the rest of the family is a bit
squeamish about it. Little did I know...this was only the beginning.... 
that nice 24 bottle case of water? I start finding bottles of water
in the livingroom, leaking on the floor... I yell at the kids...."put
the cap back on tightly, and don't leave bottles on the floor" until
I discover the puncture marks...very distinct... like vampires would
leave on a victim.... I will catch who is doing this.....

It takes a while, as these ferrets get free roam from about 630pm until
1 or 2 am when I crash. In the meantime, I find more bottles. I suspect
Cheese since the bottle cap incident, but I can't prove it, and he has
become sneaky about it...

Then, I hear rustling, This can be conflicting, as I keep a ferret safe
recycle bin next to where the case of water is stored. I listen, the
noise stops, I hear pattering of paws, and something being dragged,
dropped, then dragged again. I look up in time to see Cheese, heading
for the hall, dragging a 12 oz water bottle... I give chase, and I'll
tell you, it is amazing how fast a 3.5 pound weasel can move with a 12
oz bottle of water! I grab the bottle and tell him no bottled water
tonight, stinker! This happens three more nights in a row, and he
finally gives up. I think he has forgotten, until one day I find
another victimized water bottle spilling its contents on the living
room floor. I set up watch again. I hear rustling.....I look up to
see....Not Cheese, Not Ham......but Lollie, my little elderly 7 year
old 1 pound 2 oz sable girl dragging a bottle of water down the hall.
These guys get fresh water every day, sometimes twice a day if I see
someone has fouled the bowl, but apparently, tap water has nothing on
the cool crispness of bottled water stolen from Moms stash! Of course,
with no end in sight, and the innocents now becoming indoctrinated to
this behavior, I moved the bottles out of reach. I really find it
interesting the things the choose to get into, and what they take an
interest in. Never a dull moment!!

Cindy & the Slightly Used Ferret gang
Lollie, Dobbin, Zoe, Isadora(ble), Ham, Cheese, Taz, Martin and Chepe"

missing Ollie, Sugarfoot, ElBandito, Bubbles, Noel and Franklin

[Posted in FML 7383]