Who needs to watch soap opera with everything that is happening on the FML?
 
Addictions! Ferret Math. Ferretone. Raisins.
 
Amorality!  People shamelessly advertising web sites with photos of their
ferrets wearing no clothes (or even worse: with ferrets dressed in silly
costumes).
 
Births!  Announcements of litters of baby ferrets.
 
Cliffhangers!  Will ferret X survive a risky operation.  Will ferret Y
that bit somebody be kept under observation or be killed to be tested for
rabies?  Will Rick (from UFO) really act on his intention of unsubscribing?
Will Modern Ferret be able to find a new distributor?
 
Conflicts!  People being flamed.  People liking ferret speak against those
who dislike it.
 
Crimes!  Ferrets stealing whatever they can, including car keys and
wallets.  Ferrets destroying their owner property (rugs, bottom of sofa).
 
Diseases! Dead Ferret Syndrome. Green slime disease. Waardenburg syndrome.
 
Drama!  Is Harley "Bug" eyes infection cured forever?  Is Warp going to
suffer as much health problems as Meltdown?
 
Fights!  Amongst subscribers, ferret organizations or ferrets.
 
Heroes!  Debi Rodvelt's ferrets saved her life!  Shelter operators.
People helping or funding shelters.  People working to legalize ferrets
in California.  Expert ferret owner anwsering a question asked for the
zillionth time on the FML.  Chris Lewis!  BIG!  Pam Grant!
 
Lies!  Bob Church claimed that a vampire bit him instead of admitting a
ferret bit him...
 
Love stories!  Ferrets that used to hate each other starting to sleep
together.
 
Mysteries!  Does BIG ever sleep?  Will the middle name of BIG be revealed
by mistake?  What causes adrenal disease?  Do women like ferrets because
they can cradle them like babies?  Did the FLO go underground?  Does being
named Pam motivates you to do something of the ferret community?
 
Supernatural!  Is Sandee a medium that hears the words of dead ferrets or
does he make them up?  Does the Rainbow Bridge exists?
 
Twins!  Uh ho... are there identical twins subscribers?
 
Underdog!  Modern Ferret versus Ferrets
 
Villains!  Ferret farm(s) shipping ferret not waned to pet stores.
Unethical backyard ferret breeders.  Flamers.  CaCa Land Organization!
 
DISCLAIMER: Ressemblance to existing situations and people is intended.
This is an attempt to lighten up the FML with a silly post.
[Posted in FML issue 3078]