Yesterday, Gordon wrote:
>THis is the ferret 'language' speaking to me, RePete was coming
>to me for help and protection so I picked him up and dipped him
>in boiling tar.
 
Hmmmm. That made me wonder several things.
 
1) Where does one *get* tar? Is the Driveway Sealer you can buy at Home
Depot about the same thing?
 
It looks pretty practical....comes in a big five gallon drum with a
tight-fitting lid so you can store what you don't use.
 
2) Do you use a candy thermometer to bring it up to temp., just as if
you were sugaring off maple sap?
 
Like, first you bring it up to the soft ball stage by dropping drips
into a cup of cold water, etc.  and then you bring it to a gentle boil.
If you heat it too much does it get all granular on you when it cools?
 
3) Is inhaling the boiling tar fumes in your kitchen dangerous?  I'd
imagine that tar is a complex hydrocarbon, it could have all manner of
unpleasant compounds in it.  *Probably* not good for a woman pregnant
or nursing.
 
4) Can you use the leftovers to start your very own tar pit in the back
yard, like the famous one full of prehistoric bones in downtown LA, the
Labrea Tar Pit?  Just IMAGINE the crap you could get rid of around the
house if you had your very own tar pit to sink it into!  Broken lawn
mower?  No problem!  Iiiiinto the Pit with it!!!  Used hot water heater?
Junk car?  Iiiiinto the Pit with it!  You could save a fortune on
recycling.
 
5) Do you need a lisence to operate a tar pit?
 
6) After you *tar* a ferret, does one then *feather* it?  Or is that no
longer fashionable?  Certainly the tradition was to tar, feather, and
then run the victim out of town on a rail.  The rail part confuses some
people.  To"run out on a rail" you tie the victims arms and legs (in
RePete's case I guess that would be front and rear paws) and hang them
upside- down from a wooden fence-rail.  Then you parade them through
town that way, swinging upside-down from the rail while the victim is
taunted and pelted with things like rotten fruit and rocks.  Afterwards,
the victim is dumped somewhere and left to peel off (gnaw, in RePete's
case) the cooled tar.
 
7) Is the cooled tar in and of itslf a hazardous substance that you
have to pay to get rid of at a recycling center?  I'd imagine you
couldn't re-use it, certainly not if it was contaminated with feathers,
or ferret fur.
 
Let us know, Gordon!  As a life-long New Englander, I am embarrassed to
admit that I really don't know much about this tradition.  It certainly
did form an important part of my ancestor's cultural heritage.  I think
it has more style than, say, hanging witches, or even putting people in
stocks in the middle of the town common.  I think here in Mass. we could
really use it for the idiots who screwed up the Big Dig at VAST taxpayer
expen$e.  Please, do tell!
 
Alexandra in MA
[Posted in FML issue 5337]