Dear Ferret Folks-
 
It was just another normal evening at home here.  Me, my husband, his
ferret Switch and I curled up on the great American sofa in front of the
great American timewaster, the T.V.  Yup.  A man, his weasel, and his
wife.  ( My ferret, Sabrina the Bat-Biter, was sensibly asleep, she never
was much for T.V. even back when she could see farther than her own
whiskers.)
 
My husband Dann and Switch were watching some *really lame* kickboxing
movie drama, and sharing a nice cold mug of rootbeer.  Dann has this huge
insulated plastic mug.  Every time I took my eyes from the *really lame*
kickboxing movie and looked over at the two of them I saw what looked
like a gray, furry eggplant with two little feet hanging over the edge
of the mug.  The head end with the two front feet were actually inside
of the mug, where they could not be seen.  What could be seen of Switch
looked like a little mink upholstered drunk heaving into the john during
a bad college party, you know, riding the porcelain bus?  Blauuugh!
Urf!,Urf!  Blauuugh!  You get the idea.
 
Actually, that's just the way Sabrina hangs out of the dog's food bowl
when she decides to help herself to a nice snack of Purina.  She throws
herself over the rim of the bowl and grazes while the dog gives me this
amazing long suffering look while her eyebrows do that things that dogs
do, the thing that lets you know they are in unspeakable psychic agony.
"Oh pleeeeze, not my foooood, is nothing sacred?"
 
By the time the *really lame* kickboxer's brother is paralyzed for life in
a scene fraught with high drama (ever seen Jean Claude Van Damme pretend
to cry?  Blauuugh!  Urf!,Urf!  Blauuugh!)  Switch's little belly was round
and hard.  She had taken her fill of rootbeer.  Now it was time to walk
across the sofa and bother the wife, as in lick, lick Chomp!  Right on
my arm.  Without missing a beat I scruffed the b**** and BIT her while
Jean Claude Van Damme (Blauuugh!  Urf!,Urf!  Blauuugh!) wailed in the
background.  I did not lick her first, I just bit.  It gets her attention
like nothing else does.
 
Anyway, like I said, just another normal evening at home, here.
 
Alexandra in Massachusetts
 
Switch the Kit: "She BIT me! That freak actually BIT me!"
Sabrina the Bat-Biter: "Well, you bit her first."
[Posted in FML issue 3805]