Jeff,

I know this isn't much consolation. But "I" saw your letter. I read
every word. I understood every word. And I cared. I hope it helps a
little to have some place to come where others also understand. And who
also are able to "see" Sabrina. Thank you for sharing her and Minnie
Mouse with all of us. She'll be remembered. Something her owner didn't
do. I"m sorry, in a strange way, that you will remember. I'm sorry you
endured, at least in part, what she endured right along side of her. In
time I know that the happy memories will slowly smother the bad ones
away that were also part of Sabrina. Time is funny like that. I'm sorry
you miss her, good and bad memories.

I marvel at folks like you. Nothing humbles me more than to see or hear
of people who can "see" past everything superficial about a special
needs animal and fall in love with who they really are as well as
welcome the challenges that come along with them. I'm not one of those
people. Although I've had my share of adoptions and have personally
rescued some, half of my ferrets have been purchased. I'm not "good"
with rescues. I dont mean that I'm not skilled enough to handle the
behavioral and medical challenges that come along with some. I mean
I dont have the guts. I dont' have what it takes. I've noticed that
almost every single one of my rescues over my life time are very
different than babies who have grown up with only one loving owner.
Every one of my rescues acted like Sabrina. Very bonded to me (and most
of the times also to other humans). Very desperate for the attention.
It's gut wrenching for me to see these little ones bend over backwards
and to do anything to be part of your life. No matter how much love and
attention I give them and for no matter how many years, they all act
the same and look at me the same way. I know they are happy. I know
they arent' starving for love and that what I am seeing on their part
is celebratory behavior, gratitude bubbling over, and most of all
determination to take in every second of life. But my mind simply can't
wrap itself around that. I see their actions as an expression of never
getting enough. And so I can never give enough or offer enough medical
treatment ... or anything for that matter. I can't eat or sleep well
due to the guilt I feel from them. As I said. I dont have very strong
"guts" for that. Thank God some do.

Wolfy

[Posted in FML 6855]