Ferret love puppets.  ::smacking the gum::  The ferret charmer has told
one of her bewitched and poisoned ferrets (from carbon monoxide) that
I'll go away if ignored.  I can't be ignored.  Because I"m "all that" and
much, much more.  I am the great Ferret Oracle.  The one with prophecies
and predictions of the FML.  What would people do without me?  What would
ferrets do without me?  I'll tell you what, they couldn't do without me.
 
::The beautifully robed woman pulls her tiny red radio flyer wagon with
ferretone lubed wheels forward, digs deep below the heaps of depends
and Bush's baked beans to pull out something.  She throws her arm across
her forehead and sways side to side:: You love slaves.  I predict great
surprises at the IFC Forum in KY ... some sort of black footed some
things.  I see it now.  Fuzzy, four legged little things that live on
the prairies.  ::She nearly faints, then comes back to reality::  Can you
do that Ferret Charmer?  Or can you only bore ferrets into deep sleeps.
Get a load of this!  ::The oracle whips something out of her robes and
throws it into the air in front of you.  With a small, bright explosions
of sparks in the air ... something is written right in front of you:: I
predict a birthday of a wonderful person on the FML.  She is on the IFC.
She is in SOS.  She collects fossilized sharks teeth off the beach and
has a "hon" in her life.  I'm seeing something else now ... oh this is so
confusing ... all the sudden I'm seeing a tiny pretty little elf with a
tiny little voice hmm.  I don't know.  Can't make sense of this.  Things
will be more clear in the future.  :: with a great huff she spits out her
gum with a great "puh" ... it arcs perfectly off to the side::
 
Now as for this Ferret Charmer, this Ferret Whisperer ... she needs a
carbon monoxide detector for her cleavage.  Before any more ferrets fall
under he spell.
 
The  Oracle
[Posted in FML issue 5127]