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Subject:
From:
colburns <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Tue, 7 Feb 2006 21:04:36 -0500
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Dear Ferret Folks-
 
Well, it is finally, finally over.  Ten of the most unpleasant days in
this hoomin's life.  The ten days in which I had to MEDICATE Ping is He.
 
It started so innocently.  My two year old nephew spent a little time
playing with Ping.  I noticed that the child had a runny nose, but I
thought nothing of it.  Two year olds *often* have runny noses.  A few
days later, I noticed that someone in the Ferret Room was not pooping
properly.  These were runny, pale poops.  I had to watch Ping and Puma do
the backing up thing (what fun), and then I knew it was Ping delivering
the sub-standard poops.  I picked him up and examined him carefully.  He
was a little thin in the ribs.
 
Not good.  No, not good at all.  Ferrets crash *fast*.
 
So I called my excellent Vet, and made an appointment for him.  All the
way to the Vet's office, Ping sneezed.  And sneezed again.  In total,
he sneezed seven times in a twenty minute time period.
 
Not good.  Not good at all.  Ferrets crash *fast*.  I can't repeat this
warning often enough if you are a new ferret hoomin out there.  Get them
to the Vet when they seem sick.  If you wait, telling yourself it would
cost a lot, you are setting yourself up for a financial hurtin'.  The
cost of "rebuilding" a ferret once he has crashed is *much* higher than
just taking him to the Vet in the first place.
 
The excellent Vet poked Ping, prodded him, weighed him, listened to his
little engine with her stethoscope.  I brought poo for her to look at in
a ziplock bag, and it was duly taken upstairs to be tested for several
sorts of vileness.  (It saves a lot of time if you can just bring poo,
instead of describing it.)
 
Well, Ping was taken away to be hydrated.  This is a euphemism for "given
an I.V. so he does not crash."  I warned the Vet Tech that this was not
a ferret, this was a Pigmy Wolverine, but she just gave me one of those
smirky "I've seen everything, Lady" looks.
 
Sure.  OK.  Go handle it.  Show me how the professionals do it.  Knock
yourself dead, Vet Tech.
 
She came back about a half hour later apologizing, looking somewhat
deflated, saying she had found it necessary to stick him several times
in her attempts to "hydrate" him.  She looked much more respectful.  She
handed him back to me saying "He is a *dominant* one, isn't he?"  Then
she fled.
 
I had warned her.  Ping was grinning, I swear.
 
The poo was found to be free of several really worrisome types of
vileness, and my Vet said she believed he had the flu.  I was given
a little bag of meds, and some empty syringes.  I was told "medicate
him with these twice a day for ten days."
 
Oh god.  Medicate Ping is He.  He is not a ferret, he is a Pygmy
Wolverine.
 
Have you ever seen Steven King's "The Shining", with Jack Nicholson?
Well, imagine trying to hold Jack down and squirt medicine into his
mouth.  Imagine scratching, clawing, twisting, huffing, and Jack
Nicholson with pretty pink amoxycillin foam all over his face.  Sort
of like a mad dog at a little girl's birthday party.  Very pink.like
Canada Mints.  Pepto Bismol.  That kind of aggressively pink pink.
 
Then comes the Flagyl.  That's about when Jack's character picks up the
axe and starts chasing his wife through the corridors of the Overlook
Hotel.  Imagine gray foam this time.  Wads of it streaming from his
mouth, down his chin.  He shakes his head, and you are wearing it.
Imagine more twisting, huffing, clawing and scratching.
 
Imagine doing this to Jack Nicholson twice a day for ten days, while the
Overlook Hotel is reduced to so much smashed wallboard, and the Topiary
Animals come marching up the driveway to kill Mr. Halloran.
 
Now my husband is sick.  Like Ping, he's been running a small fever.
His nose has been drippy.  There has been sneezing.  I don't know about
the state of his poops, and I don't want to.  Puma and I are a little
stressed out.
 
Alexandra in MA
[Posted in FML issue 5147]

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