Jodie, Jodie, Jodie,
OMG, I am still so freaked by your experience! You poor thing... I am so
sorry you had to go through that. The way I see horrid experiences like
that is always a lesson for the future. Whenever I have had close calls
on any level it so better prepares me for life. I had a very similar
story a few years ago, although much shorter trauma time (about an hour)
I was right back there while reading your post. I too have an 18 yr old
son, as well as a 15 yr old daughter. Yes, they are at times self
absorbed (nature of the beast, right?) I really believe Jodi no matter
how old they get, and no matter how strongly they protest, they still need
and want our love and presence in there lives. The human kids that is :)
While I would never suggest this was a purposeful gesture on your boys
part- I think sometimes, just sometimes, our human kids get a little
sibling rivalry stuff with our fuzzies. Both my teenagers have had
careless fuzz related incidents. I have had to except the fact that
ultimately my fuzzie kids are my responsibility. Yes, yes both kids
wanted them, but really my ferries are mine, as well as their care. Try
not to be too angry with your boy, when that happened with me, it only
alienated my boy to the ferrets a bit, he started to resent them I
believe. I have closed off both of their bedrooms to the fuzzbabes, it
is just too much work and stress, and opens avenues for conflict between
myself and my teens. It is just not worth it for me. Yes, it is less
space for fuzzies, but much more space for me and my teens to conflict or
bond on more vital issues.
It also let my teens know in no uncertain terms--I love them, value &
respect their space and autonomy. There is no question in anyone's mind
as to where my priorities lie. Things are so much more harmonious and
much more opportunities for talking about other, more important things
with them. Since this shift-my teens will initiate much more time and
contact with their ferry siblings too :)
Be well,
Mary Ann
[Posted in FML issue 3767]
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