wolfy...you have read Charlie's pages...right?...i put all my feelings at
the time on there...i still blame myself for his death...by him hanging
from that chair for nearly 10 minutes...[and me not going to check what
the noise was...]...the blood to his brain had to be diminished...if not
totally cut off at some point...causing the neurological damage he had...
and the subsequent problems...eventually making it necessary for us to
help him to the bridge..
 
i wonder if others will have the problem i have...i do not think i could
go read char's pages and go thru those emotions again...i just can't go
thru the pain of his loss..."in my face" as it were...again...it is dim
in my memory now...that is how i deal with very painful things...i block
them out...i don't think i really know when i do it...till something like
this surfaces...and i have to consiously think about something...but i
know i have done it before in my life...
 
it did not happen right away...[the dim memory]...but i can not say when
it did...i just know now...2 years later...that that is what must have
happened...
 
but i can't go read his story...not yet anyway...
 
love,
kat
 
=====
KITY=^..^=KAT and the Kollektive [17]
http://www.geocities.com/ferretlover97
 
In Memory of...White Russian...who lost his fight with ADV on May 8, 2002
Missing pieces of my heart...Marcel, LittleWhiteGirl, Narmy, OldGuy,
D'weezle, Pye, Sandi, Jack, and the biggest pieces of my heart...Sonny,
Charlie and Geezer!  ...Keeping in memory...Dweezil, Opie and Tunees...
 
My ferret Afghans! http://www.geocities.com/crochetkat/ferret
Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.
Think about it!
[Posted in FML issue 3850]