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Sat, 16 Nov 2002 21:50:08 EST
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Hi all!  Just wanted to take a second to say hi and update everyone on my
escapades.  Since being laid off in September, I have come to a greater
appreciation of folks who stay at home, and have the time on their hands
to spend with our furries!  I really am enjoying all the fun I am having,
really learning, my fuzzies!  Since we got our new kitten (the one who
swears she is a ferret) - I have been entertained, 100% of my time!
Artemus - the albino feret demon - has thoroughy corrupted my kitten.
She will never be the same.  She doesn't walk, or stalk anymore, like
a cat should.  She pounces and jumps.  She attacks.  She loves to take
showers now, along with her ferret bud.  He has taught her the fine art
of "trip the human and bite her nose".  He has taught her to eat ferret
food, ferret treats, and generally, behave JUST like a ferret.  It is
the highlight of my day - to open the cage and free the fuzzies, to
watch them "plot" on how to torture the "hooman".  I swear, they whisper
amongst themselves, glance at me, snicker behind their fuzzie little
paws, and then run to carry out their evil plots!
 
My tiny girl, Helena, must have purchased a book - "One thousand ways to
escape your cage, and still torture your hooman".  She has found every
nook and cranny available to a ferret - and escapes in the dead of night.
We have tucked blankies in, piled books upon the top, coverd completely
in tarps - nothing can stop her......
 
After the escape, she scales the stairs, quietly with her ferret
flashlight.  She sneaks into the bedroom.....slithers up the bed -
dressed in her "dark attack" suit.  She will LEAP on top of my face -
snack on my nose, and immediately dash to the water cup on the table
next to the bed, for a late night swim.  The kitten finds this amusing
and then joins in on the fun.  Water everywhere, mommy running around,
smacking into walls, trying to "cage" the both of them!  After falling
down the stairs, swearing that I will never EVER get another ferret
again, and giving up on sleep for the night - I glance over at the
cage.... where the sit.....the kitten, and the ferrets (yes, the kitten
LIKES sleeping there and has her own hammie - so don't go there.....) -
and there they sit......their little ferrety eyes swimming with love....
or is that mischief.....hmmmmm.......hatred gives way to "if you do that
one more time...." .
 
They win.  I give up.  You know, I wonder if there IS life after
ferrets......what would we do without them?  Besides sleep.....in a dry
bed......keep our noses on our faces, and our toes on our feet......but
hell, who needs that right?
 
Happy days kids!
[Posted in FML issue 3969]

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