Dear Liz,
I am sorry to hear of your loss.  I know exactly how you feel.  I was
responsible for the death of one of my pets, a snake, many years ago.  It
took years for me to admit to myself or anyone else that it was even my
fault and I have never gotten OVER the fact that I killed him but I live
with it.  I do, however, agree with Jim March and I have said a million
times that "a few moments of something wonderful is better than a lifetime
of nothing special.  My mother told me that.  She has been in very bad
health as far back as I can remember.  She always did everything her doctor
told her not to.  Things that undoubtly took years off her life.  I could
never understand that when I was young but now I know that life is so short
as it is that you have to live your life the way you want to and not how you
"should".  Although Echo was just a little baby, I'm sure she lived more in
5 months than many on this earth have lived in a lifetime.  It truly is a
measure of quality and not quantity.  She knows she is loved and that it was
an accident.  She doesn't blame you and you shouldn't either.  I still think
about my snake.  I cry because I imagine the pain that he must have suffered
but I cry for our loss (his as well as mine) not out of guilt.  I won't lie
and say that you will get over it.  You'll always miss her and mourn your
loss.  You'll probably think about her a little more than other pets you
have had but I hope that in time forgiveness will come.
 
God bless and love to all
[Posted in FML issue 1811]