This is a note to thank all those sweet friends who sent cards, flowers,
ecards, emails, and the giant red teddy bear in their effort to cheer
me up during my recent experiments in laboratory science, anatomical
exploration, and biochemistry.  Thank you; they were deeply appreciated
and I am greatly touched.
 
This is also to send a sincere apology to my friends in Idaho for being
unable to attend their show.  Unfortunately, my final surgical procedure
caused my throat to swell and I was forced to spend a few days listening
to a machine swishing loudly in my ear while I was encouraged to float on
chemical clouds.  That was NOT supposed to happen; I was supposed to have
it done, drive to Idaho, and see lots of cool ferrets run down tubes.
Instead, while ferret people were playing with their ferrets, I was
having fun with tubes of my own.  The HMO Witchdoctors finally allowed me
to return home this morning, which was a very good thing because I was
having a major ferret jones.  I have a lot of holes in me, my throat is
sore, I can tell a few amusing anecdotes about nurses and catheters, and
I have been chemically humbled in ways I never thought possible.  Still,
when you can come home, say a single word and get mobbed by 16 ferrets,
there is so much to be thankful for that there is no need to grumble.
 
I was especially thankful for my three newest additions; Clyde, Rummy,
and Kahlua.  All three met me at the door and mobbed me like a long lost
mother.  Rummy, who initially introduced herself with a prolonged bite to
the thumb designed to teach me the lesson of not teasing her with food,
literally licked me for a half hour.  Kahlua was wild, just bouncing
around and leaping at me.  Clyde was unbelievably sweet, gently licking
each and every spot that had been wounded in hospital.  The other 13 were
just as attentive, and I currently have a pile of ferrets sleeping at my
feet, preventing me from moving.  I am just glad I went to the bathroom
before I sat down.  I am sure it was my sore throat that made my eyes
blurry.
 
I have one other sincere apology.  When I finally decided to tell my FML
friends what was going on, I made a lot of jokes about being sick.  Humor
is a major part of my personality (maybe all of it), but I inadvertently
injured someones feelings.  They had just lost a loved one to malignant
melanoma and my jokes, which were meant to be a parody of my own bravado,
were instead taken as belittling the disease and it's possible outcomes.
That was never my intention and I am sorry to anyone who was offended.
 
Please, if you see a spot that looks funny, or your voice gets sore with
just a little use, or you have a cough that does not go away, or you feel
a funny lump, please see a doctor.  It will probably not be anything
important, but your ferrets need you, so be safe, not sorry.  See a
doctor, let them have their fun, and go home and wrestle your ferrets
for at least an hour.
 
As for me, I am a bit pale, but my bald head is now covered with a fine
fuzz that my ferrets love to rub against.  I expect 100% recovery, and I
am taking speech therapy to insure my ability to tell bad puns at shows
and symposia.  Sorry, my win is your loss.
 
Bob C
[log in to unmask]
[Posted in FML issue 5156]