We the folks at Mustelid Mania are delighted to introduce our newest product
to you, the discriminating ferret enthusiast: FUM!  Yes, Ferret Gum,
guaranteed to keep those ferrets occupied and those sharp, pointy little
teeth glittering with health.  FUM comes in 8 exciting flavors: Dirty Sock
(our most popular flavor!), Tennis Shoe Rubber, Cat, Cotton T-Shirt, Pencil
Eraser, Phone Cord, Styrofoam, and Toes.  Don't wait to rush out to your
nearest pet store and buy the treat that's proven 99% effective in fighting
cavities and boredom!!  Will not stick to fur!!  Perfectly harmless to the
ferret's documented trick digestive tract!!  10 out of 10 test ferrets
considered our flavors better than the Real Things - Buy Now!
 
1996, Mustelid Mania - Noodle, Friday, Easel, and Potpie
 
(not for human consumption)
 
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      Melissa Litwicki                              "Is it ... atomic?"
      [log in to unmask]                             "Yes! VERY atomic!"
 
[Moderator's note: Was that meant for the advertising issue?  BIG]
[Posted in FML issue 1717]